“Choke me” Eurovision second place. Thoughts, kinksters?
I’m facepalming about it, to be honest.
First of all, I’m kinky, in a 24/7 BDSM marriage, and I’m all in favour of all art (including music) that is kinky. Hell, yes.
I love (in no particular order) Deore, NIN, Acid Velvet Christ, Christian Death, Sleep Token, She wants revenge, Miranda Sex Garden and even the good ol’ Depeche Mode.
All these bands have songs about power exchange, in one form or another.
Even indie band Fontaines DC have recently written a song, Death Kink, that is about the repulsion/attraction of getting to the limits: It’s the power (and, arguably the mission) of art to explore and go up to the limits. To subvert.
And that’s why I’m so let down by the Romanian entry for Eurovision (I bet these are words you though you would never read in a BDSM subreddit).
This is because that song is just a catchy loud ballad with 4 words and 2 chords that doesn’t go anywhere near the complexity of BDSM but turns it into an Ann Summer themed carnival, and promotes what’s one of the most controversial practices - strangulation.
So many people think choking is ‘basic’ BDSM and a song like this isn’t really helping. I believe it does what 50 shades did: promotes a ‘vanilla’, incorrect view on kink. It’s kink done by non kinksters.
Interestingly, the singer has defended the track online by claiming it's ‘just a metaphor for anxiety and being suffocated by expectations’. To me, this strengthens my point: she is borrowing explicit kinky imagery for mainstream titillation and shock value, but hasn't even got the conviction of her own ideas to back it up the moment she gets pushback. It’s the ultimate tourist move.
A personal note. This post isn’t written from a place of censorship. My dominant husband and I do not shy away from controversial kinks: we’re not scared of breaking skin with sharps, play with total ownership, financial control, rape, race, violence, sensory deprivation & degradation, etc - and yet we would not practice any form of strangulation. It’s just not safe. (Although there was a part of me that giggled a bit seeing a huge theatre of - most likely - fully vanilla people singing choke me choke me).
Have you heard this song/seen this performance? What are your thoughts?
Promoting bad practices or just a bit of fun, harmless theatre?