u/BurlyDad

I will go out on a limb and say I feel a bit of a kinship with the trans community.  Being born on the spectrum, I spend my whole life trying to "pass" as neurotypical.  I was born one way, but put a lot of work of passing for something else.  The better I "mask," the happier I am and the better my life is.  From the outside looking in, it seems like there are parallels between our journeys.  

However, my real motivation for seeking a friend in the trans community is that I am lonely and want to change that.  I would be happy to find a good friend of any sort, but figured it would be worth it to reach out to someone who is somewhere on the transition journey directly since I never meet any in my daily life.  I am happy to meet someone FTM or MTF or even just gay, so long as the conversation is good.  Sexuality-wise, I would probably be bi/pan if that matters.

 I am not looking for an affair.  I am not looking to sexually harass you or even sexualize you.  I am more interested in who you are than your appearance, how well you pass, or genitalia. I have always been persona first and more attracted to inner beauty.  I am a borderline hypersexual, so very open minded and pretty much into anything sexually, but I am also old enough and experienced enough to know that there's a time and place for being horny or expressing your sexuality and I don't like pushing mine onto others.  

I am attracted to trans women and some trans men (I don't vibe with excessively bro-ish or macho men), so would love flirtatious undertones if the chemistry is right, but thats very optional I am much more lonely than horny...seeking the human connection moreso than the sexual fantasy....but all that said, if the chemistry is right, nothing is really off the table.  I go with the flow. My ideal is a good friendship with a solid foundations and deep honesty and if I am really lucky, some mutual attraction.   I want us to be able to be our true selves to one another. Mutual acceptance is important.

My borderline hypersexuality is also something I always have to hide.  Deep down, I know there's nothing wrong with me, but I have been shamed by so many for so many reasons, it makes me shy and gives me a lot of self-doubt.  My mind is autistically logical enough to rationally talk myself out of risky behavior.  However, I have this pervasive doubt that someone might think I am immoral or a bad person despite the fact that deep down I know I'm fine.  It's OK to enjoy sex and see the beauty in people and desire them, so long as you treat them with respect, honor their boundaries and view them as a person, not a means to your next thrill.  

While sexuality is a perennial favorite topic of mine to read and learn about, it's only a fraction of who I am.  I am the standard internet cliche of dad staying in a failing marriage for the kids.  In my case, it's my wife's battle with mental illness as I married one woman and she became someone drastically different and a lot less functional as it progressed.  My life is great until the kids are in bed and then I am lonely, invisible, neglected,  and ignored.  They are difficult and needy kids and logistics are not my friend, so the relationship will most likely be a lot more online than in person.  I'd certainly like to get together from time to time, I just don't have as much free time during civilized hours as I'd like.  

Otherwise, I generally have my shit together:  great job, decent education lots of interesting hobbies, I keep in shape, am great socially and friendly and extroverted.  I am an optimist, always looking for beauty rather than obsessing about flaws.  The glass is always half full with me.  

Some of my neglected hobbies are woodworking, photography, gaming, and a few others.  I am really into biking and hiking and working out.  I am very masculine and straight-presenting.  I hide my ASD and sexuality well.  I've got straight urban liberal dad energy if you're into that.

That was what I could think of writing about myself. However, I'd love to learn more about you...your journey...what makes you unique...what you hope to find in a friend. Drop me a message, let's see where it takes us.

While not easy to admit, I am lonely and want to do something about it.  I'd love to meet a new bestie, but that's a lofty goal and would be ecstatic to make a good friend.  The tone can be wild to mild and I am both open-minded and flexible in pretty much all ways. My ideal is to meet someone where we feel a mutual attraction, have a deep friendship, and lots of fun engaging with each other.  

My situation?  I am married and have difficult and needy children and am staying with my wife, who developed various severe mental health issues, so I can be with them.  Life is great when I am at work or with them, but once they're in bed, I go to being lonely and invisible.  Perhaps you can relate?

Smart girls have always been my type.  I've always been drawn to a woman's mind more than her exterior.  Intelligence is sexy both when it's through education as well as through life.  I'm into all races and bodytypes, especially girls with a bit extra. 

For any online relationship, we do need the fundamentals:  good communication skills, being reasonably attentive, and accepting of each other for who we truly are, not who we think we should be...or what we think the other person wants us to be.  We need to build trust and rapport.  

Sexually?  I am extremely sexual myself, but hate pushing my sexuality onto others, so sexting is not a requirement.  I won't be sending you unsolicited dick pics or begging to talk dirty to me.  For me, it's only thrilling when it's mutual, not forced.  I don't care if our relationship never gets sexual, just so long as it's interesting and engaging.  If you're into dirty chat?...great!  It's a lot of fun, but I've come to realize I am more lonely than horny.  In an ideal relationship, it can go from platonic to flirtatious to horny and vary depending on the day and mood and need.  All good relationships are flexible and dynamic:  online or in real life.  

However, if you're not into sex and don't masturbate?...we're probably not a fit.  I don't care if I'm not your type or you're not into me.  I just need to know something inspires your lust on a carnal level.  Sexual people just enjoy life a lot more.  People who are asexual or have severe hangups seem so alien to me.   I have never gotten along with asexual people for many reasons...we're just too different.  Sexuality influences so much of our personality in so many subconscious ways that we don't realize and I suspect even experts barely understand enough to articulate well...but we feel it.  We can sense that someone is like us and not like through many subtle hints that only a genius can articulate...but our intuition sees it so clearly.  

Me?  I have a good job, good education, take care of myself, keep fit, and feel like I mostly have my shit together. I am very attentive and expressive to the point of being on the verbose side.  I aspire to be a caring, intelligent nice guy...although I am more comfortable letting you be the judge.  

That was a brief intro about me and what I am hoping to find.  If you're intrigued or want to know more?...message me...let's see where this takes us.  Let's see if we can make each other's day a little brighter?   Tell me about yourself! Tell me about your life! Tell me what inspired you to look here and read this ad! If opening up like that doesn't come naturally, how about an ice-breaker question?  What is a facet of yourself you hide in your daily life that you'd feel comfortable revealing to a stranger online, like me?