u/Character_Tell_3750

Thirty days ago, I entered my first D/s dynamic with a long distance Dom, my Sir, and honestly, I had no idea how much it would affect me mentally and emotionally.

Going into it, I thought submission would be a way for me to have someone take control of the very destructive and downward spiral I had been on for a while and could not get myself out of no matter how hard I tried and how much I wanted things to be different. And it has been, but also so much more. I think what has been one of the biggest surprises for me was how much vulnerability and trust became the center of everything.

Being long distance adds a whole extra layer to it too I think. Everything is built through communication, consistency, tone, attention, and intention.  In some ways I think it may almost make the connection feel deeper because everything depends on our words and mutual trust.

The first month has taught me a lot about myself:

- I thrive with structure more than I realized.
- Praise affects me way more than punishments. 
- Anticipation is incredibly powerful.
- Communication with a person who communicates well makes all the difference
- Feeling emotionally safe makes submission easier and stronger (it really makes everything small detail easier)

It hasn’t all been perfect. I’ve had moments of insecurity, overthinking, and wondering if I was “doing it right.” I’ve challenged myself, and I’ve been challenged in a whole host of brand new ways- some scary, some that definitely pushed me outside of my safe comfortable bubble.

The biggest surprise I think though, is how calming it can feel. My mind, my worries, even my body that often feels restless, have all calmed a degree. I expected some intensity- although not at this level because OMG, but I didn’t expect the sense of peace that can come from letting someone else lead.

Still learning. Still nervous sometimes. Still very much new to all this. But after 30 days, I’m just so hopeful for all of the time and new aspects to come.

Would love to hear from others who started in long distance dynamics or have newly started how your experience has been. ♥️

Hi everyone, first post ever :) I am looking for some insights into how sub drop affects you, how you manage it when it does happen, and maybe some ways to help prevent it, or at least cushion the fall.

I am in a brand new dynamic, and it's the first one I've ever been in. We are long distance only, so much of our dynamic revolves around the structure that my Dom has put in place for me that keeps us connected. One of my rules, right from day 1, was to text "good morning" and "good night" first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. Well, last night we had been texting back and forth consistently and I fell asleep before I text him "good night". I woke up at about 6am this morning in an intense panic as soon as I looked at my phone. Partially I was terrified that he would be angry/upset with me, and the other part felt as thought I had failed, and let him down.

I text him immediately that I was sorry and what had happened. He intentionally left his phone sound on so he would hear when I text him, and he responded right away that he was not angry with me and he assumed that was what happened. I apologized again, and he reassured me again. We stayed on a call together to fall back asleep where I apologized again, and he maintained he's not angry.

A little while later into my morning a wave of the most intense sadness came pouring over me. It was to the point where I actually thought I was going to cry. These huge emotions full of disappointment and sadness for breaking a rule, for letting him down, for failing to do what he asked of me, came pouring over me. Part of what was so hard was that I was so surprised by it, despite reading and discussing what sub drop can look like and how it can happen, I still was wildly unprepared for how intense and awful I felt.

I would love to hear about anyone else's experiences with sub drop from similar situations and how you navigate it. I've been worried now about what will happen when I inevitably break another rule by accident or disappoint my Dom. How will I recover from the sub drop I'll experience afterwards?