Understanding myself
I (20F) recently accepted I have masochistic tendencies. For years I believed I was just inclined to submission but it goes beyond that, the thing is, I’m a virgin.
I have no way to really try and explore this side of myself because I have no partner, and I’m also a very shy and reserved person regarding sexuality so casual encounters in person make me anxious. This doesn’t mean I don’t want to have sex.
I wasn’t raised religious or necessarily with the idea that sex was wrong, but I do have some ideas of where this comes from.
But I feel really frustrated.
I like being in uncomfortable situations, I do enjoy pain to some extend. As much as I’ve been able to try on myself, I’ve enjoyed it, but I still feel like it’s not enough.
At first I even thought I hated degradation, until I listened to audios while masturbating and something clicked.
I don’t even think the stuff I’m into is extreme either, just rougher than expected for the way I present which is why I feel strange talking about it.
Does anyone else have a similar experience? How did you get into masochism by yourself? how do you stop feeling guilty over pleasuring yourself through something that’s supposed to be “wrong”?
Please DM me if you’d like talking further 🫶