Hi! I know I'm propably going to get a biased answer, but don't know where else to ask about this. I'm open to discussion, please offer me some advice.
I'm 20yo, and have always been into older men. At some point in my teens I started to have feelings toward my grandpa.This continued for a while before I started fantasizing about other male relatives too. The feelings feel too strong to control, and I've found myself doing things that I'm not proud of (peeping, stealing underwear etc).
In the last year or so I've managed to suppress these feelings and urges, but lately they have been on my mind again. I don't think I want to do anything with them and would rather push them away. The fantasies however give me great sexual pleasure and seem to creep up even if I try not to think about them. I always feel guilty afterwards.
Can these types of fantasies be ignored, or should I try to come to terms with them? I feel like a dirty person, but don't want to keep beating myself up about something I can't control. What should I do?