u/DaddyHoneyBee

About a month ago I messaged with an SB on SA. We’re both in the Bay Area and things were going well when she just ghosted out of the blue. We hadn’t even discussed the arrangement yet and had sent maybe 4 messages back and forth just chatting.

I would sometimes look at her profile and see that she hadn’t logged in for days, so I naturally thought she found someone and didn’t see the need to let me know. All good, no problem, a little impolite but not out of the ordinary.

Then a couple of days ago I saw she was active and reached out again. She was super enthusiastic and we discussed the arrangement, everything seemed to align so yesterday we had a m&g in the afternoon, platonic, which also went really well.

In the evening we spent about 2 hours chatting and joking around. Nothing naughty, and she mentioned she was looking forward to our first date. She was getting ready to go out with a female friend and texting would sometimes pause for a while, I assumed because she was busy, and then she said brb… and that’s the last I’ve heard from her in about 24 hours.

The last message I sent was a joke making light of her disappearing act and because we were on Signal I can see that she never read it. I checked SA and she hasn’t logged in since right after our m&g.

I’m not quite sure what to make of this and am honestly a little worried, but I’m from a country where elaborate scams often involve putting the victim in a state of heightened anxiety so I’m also a bit skeptical.

Some of the possible scenarios I can imagine:

1. She met someone and did the ghosting thing again.
2. She lost her phone and doesn’t have access to messaging.
3. Something bad happened (which is why I’m worried)
4. This is all a setup and she’s going to emerge with a story of how she met a Nigerian prince and needs money for something.

I’m relatively new and inexperienced as an SD so looking for your wisdom. Has anyone seen this type of pattern before?

My plan is to wait 24 hours before pinging her just to see if she’s okay.

I’m a new SD and just started seeing an SB who “on paper” is the pixel perfect match for me. We’ve been seeing each other for a little under a month. She’s smart, fun, kind, kinky, hot AF, amazing in the sack but… there’s something lacking.

She’s polyamorous and I have zero problems with that, but she’s also just started a new vanilla relationship. I understand well my position: she has her main squeeze, who provides all the things a vanilla bf brings to the table and she has me as an SD, with the benefits I bring to the table.

However, I didn’t get into the bowl just to get laid. I want to have an emotional connection with my SB and expected it would be bidirectional.

The problem I’m finding is that she’s not demonstrating any interest in me other than to schedule dates. The dates themselves are great and I feel we connect in person, but when we text I’m always the one initiating conversation and showing interest in her. She responds but it always feels a little flat.

It goes something like, (me) “hey, what’s your favorite color?” (she replies) “blue!” instead of “blue! what’s yours?” or “blue! why do you ask?”

I’m not blowing up her phone, in case you’re wondering. The last time I texted her was Thursday and just yesterday, Monday night, I sent her a low xxx cash gift just because I was thinking about her. That’s my version of sending flowers. Her response was basically an enthusiastic “thank you” and nothing else.

I’ve been DMing a couple of SBs here who have suggested I bring this up in conversation, but I’m feeling that if this is something I have to ask for then I might as well break it off.

Without false modesty, I not super wealthy but always meet the ppm and make a point of showing my appreciation between dates. I’m reasonably handsome, well educated, polite, kind, well endowed, attentive in bed, fucking funny, and share several common interests that are pretty niche for our area (we’re slightly freaky for Bay Area standards).

Finally, the question: what should I do? Talk to her? Call it quits this early? Give her some time to warm up?

I really like her and thought I had struck gold.

Assuming you’re in a stable SR, do you use condoms?

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