u/Delicious-Opening679

*Hello! I changed my phone and my old account got lost so this was my post I wanted to share from 6 months ago. For further context.*

I've been a closeted bisexual man for 5 years, at the age of 30 who's married to a bi woman. We've been together 7 years, while married for 2 years. Our anniversary is during the spooky season. Last night I cried in bed, she was rubbing my back thinking something was wrong, I told her I wanted to have to a talk with her after food and that I'm fine I'm actually happy. I was crying not because I was depressed or sad, but a lot of repressed emotions came out all at once. I came out to my wife this morning after breakfast.

For some context I remember a scenario in 2020. We had been dating for 2 years, I was 25, she was 24. My wife has had some same sex experiences while I assumed I was straight. We were watching the TV show Lucifer and Tom Ellis was my bisexual awakening and while buzzed I made a comment that I liked his butt. Realizing that my inhibitions being lowered made me more open to being sexually attracted to men. I assumed this was normal but my wife turned looking puzzled as if her bi gaydar was going off 😅

I saw some recent posts about a college study saying some bisexuals don't discover themselves until 25, and holy shit like clockwork 2020 was 5 years ago, how weird is that?!

After glancing on some reddit posts I see a lot of men in my situation where they had repressed sexual attraction for years due to fear and stigma of men wanting to experience penetration. I let her know that my past interest in pegging was because of being able to experience my same sex urges with her. She immediately looked on Amazon for a harness. My life has improved, and I feel emotionally free. Just wanted to share my story.

Currently out to my family now as of May 2026 and in therapy 🩵🩷💜

I made a post in December about coming out to my wife (also bi) as a 30 year old man struggling with deep bi-phobia most of my life, that I buried. Wanted to post an update.

I'm officially out to my immediate family. My Dad, and stepmom, my Mom and Stepfather, and my Sister. I just started therapy, I've never had any mental health treatment as an adult. I discovered recently my issues with substances was because of my nervous system constantly being on "high alert". After some deep introspection, I had romantic feelings for my high school best friend when I was 15. I struggled in school, issues with memory so I grew up always in trouble with family, and didn't exactly feel safe to tell anyone at the time.

Part of my therapy goals is to forgive my younger self for not having the confidence nor the self worth to say anything.

It's only been 6 months since I came out, and I'm currently 31. It's going to take a lot of time for my nervous system to heal and feel okay. My wife has been an amazing and supportive partner, and we have both agreed to make a huge lifestyle change, we cut our alcohol intake to one drink a month since both of us have had a tendency to emotionally escape in the past. I'm so grateful I made these positive changes in my 30's.

Just wanted to post an update 🩵🩷💜