u/Educational_Bear_579

As the title says my gf of 3 years cucked me this morning, and idk how to feel about our relationship now even though I’m supposed to be right where I wanna be.

We opened our relationship a few weeks ago due to us not being able to meet each other’s sexual needs. I crave dick and anal now and she doesn’t like pegging, we (or I rlly) don’t enjoy penetrative sex anymore. Although this stems from the start of our relationship where whenever I’d try she’d have me pull out within 5 minutes complaining it hurt. She’s also always ‘supposedly’ been fairly vanilla while I’m the one w all the kinks and fantasies.

We’ve been pretty open about how we’re going and what plans we’ve made with people, and she mentioned that she met a bull online and was planning on having him fuck her sometime soon.

This came as a shock to me because even though she knows it’s been a fantasy of mine she never liked sex from me or never really gave me the chance to learn (we’re each others first). But my horniness took over and I asked if she would let me watch and cuck me. She agreed and we went over to his place a few days later. Almost immediately I was ordered to sit in the corner on a stool and asked about my boundaries etc. We’d talked about her using condoms and not taking loads into her pussy as those were boundaries she had w me and she ‘wanted to maintain them’. I figured I’d leave it up to her to communicate as she said she would, and said nothing because I didn’t want to come across as controlling etc. and I also mind blanked.

I was then ordered to kneel in the corner and face the wall unless told otherwise. The rest of the experience was amazing and I loved it. It made me realise that I truly am a cuck and could never hope to pleasure her the way her bull did. He said he owns her pussy now and I never really did so that won’t be a problem.

Here’s the current issues. 1. They did it raw and he came in her. And they 2. went at it for a solid hour, doing all the positions I tried doing with her and she was properly enjoying it and didn’t complain about pain etc. (we’re roughly the same size and girth) While I understand the bull was experienced and all, it broke my heart realising that I never even got the chance to take things that far before I started my journey as a sissy (which she’s very much supportive of). It made me feel like I was looking at someone else and didn’t know her.

I felt so betrayed and couldn’t properly enjoy it in the moment I was just in shock. Afterwards I was ordered to clean up and then told to leave so they could have some personal time. My gf didn’t acknowledge me once during the entire time or look at me which had me conflicted but I chose to ignore that because it ultimately tuned me on.

And 3. when we talked earlier she said that she’s not comfortable with me being there and only wants to be with him alone. She’s reassured me that she only loves me and sees him as a friend with benefits but she looked so comfortable with him from the get go. We had a chat about everything afterwards and her reasoning was that she forgot to communicate w him about her boundaries and that she genuinely didn’t feel pain with him (we’re roughly the same size and girth). I communicated how I didn’t have to be there all the time just once in a while to feel like I was still apart of something, and I also really enjoyed him humiliating me. Her reasoning was that she’s uncomfortable seeing him humiliate me but that was a big part of the reason I wanted to be there, and she agreed to it. She humiliates me anyways (ever since we stopped having actual sex frequently I’ve been locked in a chastity cage 24/7) since it doesn’t get used and it doesn’t put pressure on her to satisfy me when she doesn’t enjoy it. Although now she’s supposedly open to having more sex with me.

I’m quite happy as the sissy I am but 4. being excluded completely really gives me anxiety and I feel alone. I have no issue with her getting it from real men and I’m just where I want to be, I just feel like maybe 5. she never loved me because it’s always excuses from her when it comes to me, even outside of our sex life, but I’m head over heels for this woman, I do genuinely want her to see me as the beta I am and to continue being her cuck bf for her pleasure but she doesn’t want me to be apart of it and now I’m questioning our relationship. Am I being or expecting too much? I’m really torn between what we have now vs if I rlly ever knew her.

As the title says my gf of 3 years cucked me this morning, and idk how to feel about our relationship now even though I’m supposed to be right where I wanna be.

We opened our relationship a few weeks ago due to us not being able to meet each other’s sexual needs. I crave dick and anal now and she doesn’t like pegging, we (or I rlly) don’t enjoy penetrative sex anymore. Although this stems from the start of our relationship where whenever I’d try she’d have me pull out within 5 minutes complaining it hurt. She’s also always ‘supposedly’ been fairly vanilla while I’m the one w all the kinks and fantasies.

We’ve been pretty open about how we’re going and what plans we’ve made with people, and she mentioned that she met a bull online and was planning on having him fuck her sometime soon.

This came as a shock to me because even though she knows it’s been a fantasy of mine she never liked sex from me or never really gave me the chance to learn (we’re each others first). But my horniness took over and I asked if she would let me watch and cuck me. She agreed and we went over to his place a few days later. Almost immediately I was ordered to sit in the corner on a stool and asked about my boundaries etc. We’d talked about her using condoms and not taking loads into her pussy as those were boundaries she had w me and she ‘wanted to maintain them’. I figured I’d leave it up to her to communicate as she said she would, and said nothing because I didn’t want to come across as controlling etc. and I also mind blanked.

I was then ordered to kneel in the corner and face the wall unless told otherwise. The rest of the experience was amazing and I loved it. It made me realise that I truly am a cuck and could never hope to pleasure her the way her bull did. He said he owns her pussy now and I never really did so that won’t be a problem.

Here’s the current issues. 1. They did it raw and he came in her. And they 2. went at it for a solid hour, doing all the positions I tried doing with her and she was properly enjoying it and didn’t complain about pain etc. (we’re roughly the same size and girth) While I understand the bull was experienced and all, it broke my heart realising that I never even got the chance to take things that far before I started my journey as a sissy (which she’s very much supportive of). It made me feel like I was looking at someone else and didn’t know her.

I felt so betrayed and couldn’t properly enjoy it in the moment I was just in shock. Afterwards I was ordered to clean up and then told to leave so they could have some personal time. My gf didn’t acknowledge me once during the entire time or look at me which had me conflicted but I chose to ignore that because it ultimately tuned me on.

And 3. when we talked earlier she said that she’s not comfortable with me being there and only wants to be with him alone. She’s reassured me that she only loves me and sees him as a friend with benefits but she looked so comfortable with him from the get go. We had a chat about everything afterwards and her reasoning was that she forgot to communicate w him about her boundaries and that she genuinely didn’t feel pain with him (we’re roughly the same size and girth). I communicated how I didn’t have to be there all the time just once in a while to feel like I was still apart of something, and I also really enjoyed him humiliating me. Her reasoning was that she’s uncomfortable seeing him humiliate me but that was a big part of the reason I wanted to be there, and she agreed to it. She humiliates me anyways (ever since we stopped having actual sex frequently I’ve been locked in a chastity cage 24/7) since it doesn’t get used and it doesn’t put pressure on her to satisfy me when she doesn’t enjoy it. Although now she’s supposedly open to having more sex with me.

I’m quite happy as the sissy I am but 4. being excluded completely really gives me anxiety and I feel alone. I have no issue with her getting it from real men and I’m just where I want to be, I just feel like maybe 5. she never loved me because it’s always excuses from her when it comes to me, even outside of our sex life, but I’m head over heels for this woman, I do genuinely want her to see me as the beta I am and to continue being her cuck bf for her pleasure but she doesn’t want me to be apart of it and now I’m questioning our relationship. Am I being or expecting too much? I’m really torn between what we have now vs if I rlly ever knew her.