I’m in love with my mother .
I need to get this off my chest because I haven't told anyone and I'm losing my mind keeping this inside.
I've always been close with my mom. Like, unusually close I guess? She's hilarious, we have the same sense of humor, same taste in movies and music, and I could talk to her for hours about anything.
She broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years about two months ago. It was messy he cheated and she had nowhere to go since they'd been living together. I have a two-bedroom apartment so I offered her my guest room temporarily while she figures things out. That was six weeks ago.
Since she moved in, it's been... different. In a good way, mostly? We cook dinner together every night, watch movies curled up on the couch, have wine and talk until 2am. She'll fall asleep with her head on my shoulder and I find myself not wanting to move because I don't want to disturb her.
Last week we got drunk together watching some stupid rom-com and she rested her hand on my thigh while we were talking and my heart was pounding so hard I thought she could hear it. She was tipsy and kept telling me I'm "such a good man" and "any girl would be lucky to have me" while looking into my eyes. I wanted to kiss her so badly in that moment I had to excuse myself to the bathroom.
She’s not just my mom’s shes my best friend, my favorite person, the woman I compare every other woman to and they all fall short.
Am I a freak? A horrible person? Is this just because we're spending so much time together and I'm lonely? Or is it possible that what I'm feeling is real and mutual? I keep thinking maybe I'm imagining the way she looks at me sometimes, the way she finds excuses to touch me, how she seems happier here with me than she ever was with her ex.
I need honest opinions. Be brutal if you have to. I can't talk to anyone in my real life about this. What do I do?