I’m a guy from Kerala in Bangalore right now, late 20s, and I’ve dated around 5–6 girls over the years. I’m not inexperienced, and I’ve never really struggled with attention or relationships. But there’s something about myself I’ve never admitted to anyone in real life.
I think I’m more emotionally wired to be a cuckold partner than a possessive boyfriend.
And before people jump to conclusions — it’s not because I’m “weak” or because I can’t satisfy someone. Honestly, most of my relationships were normal on the surface. But deep down, I always felt weirdly comforted by the idea of my partner being completely desired and fulfilled, even if it wasn’t entirely because of me.
I know that sounds messed up to a lot of people.
But for me, it’s less about humiliation and more about this intense feeling of wanting the person I love to experience life fully. Like if she’s happier, more confident, more sexually satisfied, more excited about herself… somehow I feel happy too instead of threatened.
Meanwhile most guys I know become super possessive even if another man just looks at their girlfriend. I tried to force myself to feel that way because that’s how men are “supposed” to react. But I never genuinely did.
Sometimes I even wonder if I’ve been pretending to be the traditional boyfriend type my whole life just to fit in.
The funny thing is, outwardly I probably seem very normal. I go to the gym, have a decent job, have had relationships, hook ups, all of that. Nobody would ever guess this is how my brain works.
I’ve never actually told a partner any of this because I’m terrified they’d either think I’m manipulating them or that I’m secretly broken.
Maybe it comes from insecurity. Maybe it comes from empathy. Maybe it’s just a kink my brain turned into an emotional philosophy over time.
I honestly don’t know anymore.
One thing I do know is that I love it.