u/Leather-Carrot-1194

So I’ve been wanting to delve into the hotwife lifestyle with my partner for a while now (see my previous post for the full details), but she’s never been into the idea.

Next weekend we’ve got a date night booked. Probably going out for dinner then drinks but details yet to be ironed out.

I asked her yesterday what she was planning to wear, and before she answered I said “something slutty or revealing I hope” with a bit of a jokey tone. She smiled and said “you’ll have to wait and see”.

Is this a positive sign? Is she maybe coming round to the idea of being admired by me and others? What are your thoughts? And any ideas? Should I buy her something to wear , which is something I’ve done before? If so, what?

Let me have them!

This is a lengthy one… settle in!

My partner (F52) and I (M34) and I have been together for about 10 years now. The usual scenario, house, a kid etc etc.

When we first got together and for the first couple of years, she was quite sexually adventurous; Filming/taking pics during sex, lingerie, toys, rimming me, doing it in places where we could get caught… but that soon all died off.

We had our child, her confidence took a hit, and the menopause came at her hard. I think she’s still hot and I tell her everyday and show her every day, but the sex is now very vanilla.

I’ve probed desires and fantasies, and she just says she has none, which I find hard to believe; Do some people simply just have no fantasies?? I recall early on in our relationship, her telling me she had a specific fantasy that centred around CNC, so I know she’s had them in the past. I’ve probed her previous sex-life and she merely replies along the lines of “it’s not been exciting”, but for some reason I just don’t believe that.

We’ve done a couples app, the type you both download, you swipe yes, no or maybe to acts and fantasies and if you match a yes or maybe, it alerts you both. Nothing remarkable came out of that, some light bondage stuff, having sex in the woods, watch porn together, that kind of level stuff.

I’ve wanted to explore a hotwife lifestyle now for a while, where she has play partners, where I potentially join in or just watch, or it happens away from me, e.g. she goes out on dates and so-on. I’ve touched on this fantasy with her but she refused to even discuss it, saying she doesn’t want to have sex with other men and questioning why I would want that, which I explained to her.

I’m reasonably sure I’m into this, as she once went out on a bit of a reunion night-out with some old friends she worked with years ago, one of which was guy who I know she had a bit of a thing with. She was still out later than she said she was going to be, and her location (which she shares with me) was showing her at a hotel, and i was so turned on it was unreal. I text her about this at the time, basically saying I thought it was hot that she had gone back to a hotel with someone, she replied with a laughing emoji, called me a perv and said she was in the bar area with her friends.

So, my question is, how do I approach this whole lifestyle thing with her again? Or do I go on the one time we discussed it and forget the whole idea?

There’s a few reasons I want to explore it; Firstly and mainly I think it could be a massive confidence booster for her to to know that she’s hot (and it’s not just me saying it to make her feel better), secondly I want her to have fun, and thirdly I would find it incredibly hot to know she was doing that. Do I just verbally talk about it with her again, or do I take her out and see if I can get some guys to hit on her or something to see if she’s tempted?

Any advice, tips, point in the right direction would be great please and thank you!