u/MinimumExplorer3136

Getting a lot of dm’s now and then… messages like…

“Hey, babe.”
“Hi, sexy hot wife.”
“Can I fuck you?”
“You turn me on.”
“Can I be your bull?

messages like that … I automatically ignore them…

Thank you. 

But I don't find it hot, I dont find it cute… I find them uninteresting, low-quality messages that are not worth a second of my attention.

Messages like that would always come from a “boy” … not a “Man,” because a Man knows how to catch a woman’s attention. 

A boy just always knows how to do a silly introduction, but cannot keep a good conversation going and interesting.

While a man will catch your attention with a very interesting introduction that will hook you and will keep you…waiting for what’s next.

A man will create a connection so he can get access to you. In comparison, a boy with self-entitlement thinks that thirst-trapping a woman is an easy way to get in their pants.

Don’t get me wrong when I say a boy and a man; it doesn't have to do with age. It's about their maturity and understanding of how things should be, especially when it comes to women.

So if you’re a boy and trying to get access to get inside a woman's pants with your self-entitlement, I tell you now: do not attempt because you’ll fail.

Sex.

Yes, I love SEX. And as a woman who recently embraced her femininity, and with all the flaws of her being, and embracing this lifestyle, my number one rule?… No BOYS.

And during the first engagement, that initial conversation, you can't keep up with me… you’ll be ignored or worse, blocked.

I want to protect my space and my energy. 

Having sex is not just physical. It's about connection. 

So please, if you think you see a woman who is just a piece of meat, think a million times before reaching out because you might be wrong.

If you reached out, I am not obliged to answer your questions.

I asked the questions. You answer. And remember to keep up with me.

This is not an invitation but a reminder.

Getting so drained lately with all those nonsense dm’s that they thought it was hot, but no, it's not, and they look silly. 

Ever since I turned 40 and entered the perimenopausal period, my hormones have gone wild to the roof most days, and even my husband is having a hard time keeping up with it.

Luckily, he said that we're in this kind of lifestyle and his kink is me seeing being in bed with another man that he favors.

I don't know if it's just me, but I remembered my mom, who gave birth to our youngest sibling, and she was 43 already that time, so does this tell me that women in this stage are really hornier in their lives than ever?

I am not complaining, just wondering. lol!

After my period ended, I'm like, hornier and would always want to get laid. Most days, my husband and I would be doing 2-3 rounds. But during my ovulation period, that’s where things would go crazier, 3 or more rounds lol! Not exaggerating it, but yes, it happens, and since we’re together 24/7, it really happens because you have all the chance to do it.

One time, my husband told me that whenever I would be on my period, he’d get blue balls hahaha… cause, as we know, women on their period have different moods now and then. As for me, I have moments when I am on my period, I'm still horny, and since we don’t do messy sex, I would go down on him and suck everything he has and swallow even the tiniest drop of his juice that gives me ultimate satisfaction seeing his facial expression that moans and that manly grunt that sounds so sexy. 

But there are months when I'm on my period that I am in no mood at all. I don't like being touched or teased, lol! That’s when the husband would get the blue balls and a blessing in disguise that period lang ang pahinga.

Are there any other ladies in here like that too? 

Someone posted here earlier about 50 shades of grey. Saw some comments but no offense meant seems like not everyone understood what 50 shades was all about.

If you've read all 3 books ( rather than watching the movie ) you'll understand more and feel it more, your mind will go with the fantasy and you'll wish to have a Mr. Grey for yourself.

The reason some women became obsessed with Fifty Shades was never because women were “wild.”

That’s the excuse men gave themselves because many men only understand desire physically.

But some women understood the real fantasy immediately.

It was never just about sex.

It was about tension so thick it almost felt violent.

The kind of tension that slowly crawls underneath a woman’s skin until her own thoughts start betraying her. The kind where a man barely even touches her yet somehow already has complete control over the atmosphere around her. The kind where silence starts feeling more intimate than physical contact itself.

That’s what some women reacted to.

Not simply lust.

But psychological pressure.

The unbearable feeling of being deeply wanted by a man who still remained completely in control of himself.

And honestly?
That’s what modern men destroyed.

Too many men now are ruled by hunger. The moment attraction appears, they immediately expose all of it. Everything becomes rushed, overstimulated, emotionally sloppy, and painfully predictable.

The dirty jokes too early.
The forced dominance.
The hypersexual messages.
The constant need for validation.
The desperate attempts to sound experienced.

Some women already know those men.

And that’s why some women secretly feel emotionally numb now despite constantly receiving attention.

Because loud lust is everywhere.

But controlled desire?
That became rare.

And controlled desire affects some women differently.

A man who immediately exposes his hunger feels easy to some women.

But a man who knows exactly what he’s doing to her psychologically while remaining calm himself?

That kind of masculine energy enters a woman’s body differently.

Because some women do not become addicted to explicitness the way men think they do.

Some women become addicted to anticipation.

The eye contact held too long.
The pause before he answers.
The way he watches without rushing.
The feeling that he knows exactly how affected she is becoming and refuses to rescue her from it too quickly.

That emotional pressure burns some women internally.

Especially because some women experience attraction psychologically first.

A woman notices atmosphere before touch.
Energy before action.
Restraint before aggression.

That’s why some men can say almost nothing and still completely occupy a woman’s thoughts afterward.

Because psychologically powerful masculine energy is rarely loud.

It’s controlled.

And some women can instantly feel the difference between a man who desires women…
and a man who is controlled by his desire for women.

The first feels masculine.
The second feels thirsty.

That’s why modern dating feels emotionally dead for some women now.

Too many men rush toward physicality before understanding tension. Everything became immediate. Immediate access. Immediate intimacy. Immediate gratification. Men no longer know how to slowly build emotional pressure because they’ve become addicted to instant stimulation themselves.

But some women?
Some women become undone slowly.

That’s the dangerous part.

A woman’s imagination becomes hotter than reality when anticipation keeps feeding it. The longer tension stretches, the more emotionally aware she becomes of her own body. Suddenly every glance feels loaded. Every pause feels intimate. Every almost-touch feels heavier than touch itself.

And some women remember that feeling for weeks.

Because female desire lives heavily inside emotional atmosphere.

That’s why stories like Fifty Shades stayed inside women’s heads long after reading them. The fantasy was never just roughness. It was the emotional suffocation of being mentally cornered by desire while the man remained maddeningly composed the entire time.

That composure destroys some women psychologically.

A calm man is infinitely more dangerous than a loud one.

Not because he says more.

But because he doesn’t need to.

A calm man creates tension naturally because women start feeling the pressure underneath his restraint. The less reactive he becomes, the more emotionally reactive women become around him.

That imbalance is intoxicating.

His control.
Her rising tension.
His calmness.
Her increasingly dangerous thoughts.
His restraint.
Her imagination getting hotter every second he refuses to rush.

That emotional contrast is devastating to some women.

And honestly?
That’s why some women become obsessed with emotionally disciplined men.

Not “nice guys.”
Not weak MEN pretending to be soft.

Controlled MEN.

MEN whose masculinity feels grounded enough to hold tension without collapsing into impulsiveness.

Because impulsive men feel emotionally cheap to women.

A MAN who instantly sexualizes a woman feels predictable. His hunger leaks everywhere. Women immediately feel that his attention is not special because he probably behaves the same way around every attractive woman he sees.

And generic desire never emotionally ruins women.

Intentional desire does.

A woman wants to feel specifically chosen by a man who does not easily lose control of himself.

That fantasy alone is psychologically overwhelming to women.

Because some women instinctively feel the weight behind selective attention.

A restrained MAN creates emotional suspense naturally. Every touch feels delayed on purpose. Every glance feels heavier because it’s not being thrown around recklessly. Every moment of patience feeds curiosity until curiosity slowly becomes obsession.

And curiosity is one of the strongest emotional triggers in female attraction.

Because some women start emotionally leaning toward mystery.

The quiet man.
The controlled man.
The man whose eyes become darker the longer tension builds but whose composure never fully cracks.

That kind of masculine energy feels dangerous to women in the best possible way.

Not unsafe.

Dangerous.

There’s a difference.

Unsafe men create anxiety.
Controlled men create anticipation.

And anticipation is where female desire becomes almost painful.

That’s why emotionally intelligent women rarely melt for loud masculinity anymore. Loud masculinity often feels emotionally insecure underneath it. The constant need to dominate conversations. The constant sexual comments. The forced alpha behavior. The emotional chaos disguised as confidence.

Some women see through it immediately.

Because real masculine energy does not scream for attention.

It pulls attention naturally.

A truly grounded man can sit beside a woman quietly and somehow make her feel more exposed than a loud man talking sexually for hours.

That’s power.

The ability to make a woman hyperaware of herself around you without forcing anything physically.

And honestly?
That’s what women secretly crave more than most men realize.

To feel emotionally overwhelmed by a man whose self-control remains stronger than hers.

That’s why the tension in stories like Fifty Shades felt hotter than the explicit scenes themselves.

The restraint.
The pacing.
The delayed gratification.
The unbearable emotional pressure slowly building underneath every interaction.

Some women become addicted to that feeling because women are deeply psychological creatures in attraction.

That’s why women replay moments repeatedly afterward.

The stare.
The silence.
The almost-touch.
The subtle shift in his breathing.
The feeling that he wanted her badly but deliberately held himself back anyway.

That restraint destroys women internally because restraint magnifies imagination.

And imagination will always intensify desire faster than explicitness.

Especially when the man remains emotionally composed while the woman slowly loses composure around him.

That emotional imbalance is almost cruel psychologically.

Because the woman starts feeling trapped inside her own anticipation. Her body reacts before anything even happens physically. Her thoughts become dangerous. Every interaction starts feeling electrically charged because tension has been stretched so tightly that even the smallest touch suddenly feels explosive.

That’s real seduction.

Not loud thirst.
Not immediately dragging conversations toward sex.
Not acting dominant every five minutes.

But emotional control strong enough to make a woman mentally unravel from anticipation alone.

And honestly?
That’s what many men fail to understand about women.

Women don’t want to feel mechanically desired.

Women want to feel psychologically consumed.

There’s a huge difference.

Mechanical desire feels temporary.
Psychological desire enters the nervous system.

That’s why some women can forget explicit words quickly but remember emotional tension for years.

The feeling of being watched carefully.
The feeling that a man noticed every reaction.
The feeling that he remained composed while she became increasingly affected by him.

That emotional experience stays inside women.

Because women want to feel felt before they feel touched.

And maybe that’s why so many women secretly feel disconnected from modern dating now despite constant attention.

Attention became cheap.

Everybody wants immediate access now. Immediate pleasure. Immediate stimulation. Immediate gratification. Men barely know women anymore before trying to consume them physically because modern masculinity became addicted to urgency.

But urgency kills tension.

And tension is what some women secretly crave the most.

That slow unbearable build-up where a woman starts mentally unraveling from curiosity alone. The emotional torture of wondering how much control a man is actually holding back underneath his calmness. The feeling that he could completely overpower her emotionally if he wanted to… but deliberately chooses patience instead.

That patience burns women alive internally.

Because patience creates emotional suspense.

And emotional suspense creates obsession.

That’s why some women become more affected by one restrained interaction than by fully explicit experiences with emotionally impulsive men.

Because women remember emotional atmosphere more than physical acts themselves.

The tension before the touch.
The silence before the kiss.
The feeling that both people knew exactly what was happening underneath the surface but neither fully gave in immediately.

That delayed surrender destroys women psychologically.

Especially because surrender for women is rarely physical first.

It’s mental.

A woman mentally surrenders long before her body follows.

That’s why stories like Fifty Shades stayed inside women’s heads.

Not because women wanted chaos.

But because women became obsessed with the fantasy of a man whose desire burned hot enough to completely consume them…
while his self-control somehow burned even hotter.

So my husband posted something. Exhcange wholesome pic with a random guy from another sub.

Di kagwapuhan si kuya mo lol....

Husband send a pic and exactly said: " Ano yan picture ng lola mo?"

The audacity of the little boy lol!

As the title of this post yep having good looks cannot buy you class ( pero ang tanong do you even have good looks too? lol! )... self entitle si kuya?

Husband is not in the habit of sending nudes right away.

But sometimes we need to have manners di ba?

Regardless if we're in this NSFW thing... manners and having the right character will attract you more.

You're not even juicy kuya haha!

Been getting random messages here and there all the time. Some of there were nice and ung iba pa sa knila my husband allowed me to give out my TG since they're so nice and I really didn't feel that im being violated ( tho may iba inalis nmen - deleted chat and all kasi di na ok ung flow ng chat... super turn off ako sa sobrang manyakis ) --- i know i know where here for seggs but come on' yun nlng ba paguusapan lage? yes we hide identities but we can still have casual conversations naman na sexy and hot pa din. And minsan nakakaumay ung panay panay send ng pics and vids esp if I am not asking for it.

Guys, iba ang pagiging sexy sa chat sa pagiging manyakis ok. Ayoko din ng mga taong pushy and demanding... ung tmang ikaw ang lumapit ikaw ang may kelangan kasi taglibog ka pero demanding ka? Well I'm not the one you need. Sorry but you're milfy here is not everyone's cup of tea.

fyi iba iba tayo ng pref no offense sa klase ng pref ng iba, we're not really into just the hook up culture. We're swinging and that's way way different. And doing the not so normal in a marriage is something we want to take one step at a time while savouring each and every moment of it.

Then suddenly my husband got a message and boy o boy only to find out its a wifey.... and he being a gentleman ayaw nalang nia kausapin and I took over instead kasi ayaw din niya ng pushy kausap.

Knowing my husband if he says NO politely its a Firm NO so don't push your luck.

I really don't like yung mga messages na "minsan lang ang opportunity" na parang its your lost if you will not take advntage of it. Like hello???? Really??

di kame naniniwala sa ganun kahit sa totoong buhay. No. Opportunity is everywhere its up to you how you'll find it. If you can't find one only means you're not doing the work at all.

So being in this lifestyle now for a couple years now, learning from other couple(s) mistake and having a fair share of our own and knowing how things works here we set boundaries. We wanted this to be a healthy journey for our marriage.

So please do not be so pushy. Don't try thirst trap(ping) us... such are major major turn off...

btw my husband is a sapiosexual just like me and he's into good conversation as well so if you don't know how to get a good one going don't push your luck sis lol! You must know not all men here are just like the others same as well like me.

So if ever we'll have a woman in a play, he'll want someone classy and plus points nalang ung katawan and face card. what matters is the character.

Our body our rules.

So please before approaching someone always take the time to know who they are even a little bit. Or approach them in the right way. Or else you'll get nowhere and you'll only sound desperate for a f*ck. lol!

cheers peeps of AJ!

So like i was sharing before I am in this journey, a whole new experience and embracing the m!lfy way.

As per husband, nsa ho phase daw ako... and finally he's happy kasi he see's the side of me that he never knew once existed for the last 20 years of our marriage.

So we were in a search for the third guy last time and we found one. Who happens to be a DOM. And husband favored him, kasi naging plus factor he knows and he does shibari. So that give me that kind of excitement I want that. lol!

Husband was shookt and he was like asking me if sure ba ako and besides he's a dom. And I was like yes I know and I want. We can still set rules pa dnm with a dom since he's the one who initially reached out and offered to be the 3rd guy.

So fast forward aun na nga we met with him last night for a vibe check and the agreement was if we click during the vibe check as per husband deretso na nmen to a play kesa sched pa, knowing na sobrang hectic ng sched nmen mag-asawa.

So aun we met him, he's good looking, really a big guy, like 6ft tall, taller than husband and mind you guys I'm small im like 4'11 hahahaha... my face and height is a blessing and a curse lol!

So we chat a bit and ate, and sabi ni husband during the meet he sees na si guy pasimpleng view like mula ulo gang paa, checking out if sexy ba ko hahahahah... char! Well I am not into like wearing really revealing and sexy clothes talaga... dala dala ko pa dn kasi ung style and habit na mahilig ako sa tshirt tlga cause during college days, I was tomboyish pero straight female pa dn just one of the boys lang talaga....

i was just like wearing a terno short shorts and off shoulder blouse and chucks.

so aun na nga, while were having dinner close nman sila ni husband na they have the same interest somehow to few things since sfw ang topic. Until... okay... let's go for check in na... hahahahah...

So there we went found a hotel.... checked in for 12 hrs and boy oh boy my heart was pumping and anxiety is creeping in hahahah and husband notices that I am a bit tensed and offered that if I can't we can still say no and go home. And I was like, no lets do this.

Pagpasok nmen sa room, so we set up chilled a bit and alam mo un to feel comfy lng muna while the 3rd guy while discussing how things will go through.

So aun na nga, we started by the 3rd guy asking hubby to go out, get a smoke while we prep. so husband went out and he was confident leaving me with the 3rd guy kasi even in the chat he never took advantage of me. So there, husband went out for a smoke, I went to the bathroom to wash up and all... after that went out nakatapis and the guy was like, ask me to take of ung towel, I felt the tense the anxiety creeping in again but he so gentle with me, so he blinfolded me first.

After the blinfold, thats where he started the roping. those soft touch and partida ang lambot ng kamay niya pati hahahah... so I was stading dun frame ng bed but since medyo mataas he carried me down hahahah... as in like niyakap niya ako he's hand on my back and the other hand on my a$$ lol...

while roping anjan ung mga simpleng daan ng kamay sa kung saan sa beewbs sa a$$ hahaha...so sa kalagitnaan ng roping husband was done smoking so he went inside kahit d pa tapos, I can hear the excitement and all pero aun nga...

after roping and still blinfolded nakakaba ung feeling hahaha...and he took the blinfold and made me look myself in the mirror... so basic lang tlga ung roping kasi ayaw nia mashock ako kasi may ibat ibang roping style pa so next time na dw he just wants me to know how it feels... he even complimented me and told husband how he really likes the refined arch of my back down to my a$$... hahahha... nakakasexy ng feeling hearing it tbh...

So we started out na... hubby carressing me, and pwesto na.... started with a double barrel bj pero before that when I saw his D in person I was like... OMG! di lang girthy hahaha .... thicc and girthy ang baby boy!!!!! napalunok ako and I was like hala ke beh.... can you handle that? sa loob loob ko and im like ok... i down bow out until di ko pa nasusubukan hahahah...

down with it nachallenge ang skills ng tita nio sa bj... mind you guys I have a small face so i really dont have like a big mouth the 3rd guy was 6 and thicc and girthy ... still I did, one dick to another, suck,lick and all... and the 3rd guy was like hinawakan pa niya ung batok signaling me to do the deep throat... nachallenge sa deep throat ang gaga and im like okay... so went deep an gag reflex was challenge... lol! I did but honestly di kinaya mga bih.... masarap sana but I kenat ... feeling ko maglolock jaw ako so I timed out... nakita nilang dlwa na naluluha na ako and since the 3rd guy was a dom, its he's fetish seeing ladies na tlgang napapaiyak sa deep throat challenging the gag reflex. and since we have an agreement he's gonna be soft with me...

I was all wet dripping and all roping palang and i can feel it... so after the double barrel, i was laid down and there he prep getting inside. hubby was on the side, kissing me passionately, while the 3rd guy, was sucking and licking the tits and me, wala nlng akong nagawa kundi mag-moan sa sarap hahaha

the 3rd guy started kissing me from the beewbs down and licking and sucking that clits... but medyo bitin na bitin na siya and walang abiso he went inside agad and im like, napapapigil ng hininga because damn, he was so thiccccccccc.... napa ungol nlng ako hahahahah... not exagg but im really really tight and he didnt expected na super ganun ako tight... kahit im wet and all and he added more lube, he stride in feeling that tightness hahaha...

he was telling me like he doesnt cum that easily and I was like... ok... pero sa loob loob ko we'll see.... but boy oh boy he came easily hahahahah di na nia napigilan, after doing that lock reverse cow girl.... di niya napigilan no matter how much he wanted hahahaha..

after he came it was husbands turn na....

so the whole night was a shared turn between husband and the 3rd guy ( and take note he cums so easy agad hahaha he can't really help it lol --- raw + creampie he cant ask for more ), and that feeling of being wanted and being desired for a woman of my age just gave me the confidence that despite of insecurities i know I am beautiful and sexy in my own way.

After each round, there was an in between chill conversations, small touches here and there... and it felt so good. that night was one for the books.

I told hubby I like him. And hubby gave a stamp of approval that'll be our constant guy na ❤️

The 3rd guy is a dom but he was so soft and gentle to me. i love the way how he handled me and pinned me down. How he was inside.

So, sa next play we'll do more shibari and they're already planning how husband and him will do in the next play. hahahaha!