Sub drop
TL;DR:
I did an intense impact scene with a Dom after clearly communicating that I need physical touch and connection for aftercare. The aftercare and follow-up felt emotionally distant, I ended up dropping hard afterwards, and now I’m hurt, angry, and questioning whether my needs are “too much” even though I only wanted comfort and communication after an intense scene.
I recently did a scene with a Dominant who I have been talking to and getting to know over the past few months.
This was our first proper scene together and it involved heavy impact.
Once the scene was over, it was kind of just laying there together but no real physical touch. We then showered and went out to a different room just cuddle for a bit. However, when we made it to the other room, it ended up just being talking and maybe only a few minutes of actually cuddling.
I am someone who needs physical touch as part of my aftercare and had communicated that I needed it. I also mentioned that I had experienced drop before and that it was due to the lack of physical touch after an intense scene.
The next day, I knew drop was starting and reached out, however didn’t get much response or talk throughout the day. By the second day I started dropping hard. There was minimal contact from them. I tried reaching out to open up to see if I could come and see them, however, that wasn’t possible as they didn’t see my message until too late in the evening. When they did message me, I tried playing it off but I was really angry with them, and eventually ended up messaging them saying I wasn’t ok. They let me know they felt off after the scene as well. By this point I had broken down a few times already, and really started to get angry with myself for having the scene in the first place.
Because of the nature of the impact, there is prolonged intense bruising. Seeing it during those few days made me feel frustrated and hurt.
I’m angry at myself for not standing up for myself better, but I’m also angry at the Dominant for not reaching out to me more or for even communicating that he was dropping.
I’m struggling with all of this because it seems to me that I’m asking too much when it comes to aftercare, but yet no one is telling me that. I have had a few scenes previously from different Dominants over the years, and when they ask about what I need for aftercare I tell them, I need physical touch and connection. They agree with what I ask for yet when the time comes, they can’t follow through.
Am I asking for too much, just to have some physical connection afterwards?