u/Optimal_Problem_7011

So my girlfriend has started working at a strip club 2 months ago. We have been together for 5 years and she has thought about doing sex work for the last two years. Before she started we have had many conversations about it, and even tho sex work itself doesn’t bother me or her being intimate with other people, I always had certain concerns about if it was the right choice for her. She was sexually assaulted as a child and still suffers from the ptsd and severe ocd from it. Her past sexual experiences very not very loving and oversexualised and it took a lot of work for her to feel fully comfortable and open up with me. So when she asked me two weeks ago if i was fine with her doing a bit more than just dancing, I was worried how this might affect intimacy in our relationship and I asked her to maybe wait till she has done the job for a while longer and could be more sure of how this would affect her. For context she is not financially in a bad situation or relies on this money - She has very caring parents that would support her if she asked and has the options to work other jobs also. Since two month we have had no sex or been intimate at all, and while i dont care about having sex often or regularly, there is just a very strong shift on her overall mood and mental health. After the last two shifts she barely spoke all day after and I could just tell something had really gotten to her and made her feel uncomfortable. So Today she came back home, and while she was in a good mood because she made good money, she told me that she gave a handjob today and for some reason I just reacted a bit upset. I just feel frustrated that the work is obviously affecting intimacy in our relationship, but she was so impulsive with the decision to “cross this line”. I dont want to be upset about anything she does at work and i never expected i would even care about a hand job but i just dont know how to feel.