u/Ordinary_Ice_796

Not looking for a dictionary definition…. but your words for how you’d describe cumming to someone who’s never climaxed before?

If your wife shared her pictures anonymously and consensually on a “tribute” subreddit (like the example listed below), how would you feel about that? Would it turn you on knowing and seeing other men masturbating and even cumming on her pictures? Would it gross you out or feel violating? If your wife was turned on by this type of validation, would you be OK with it, as long as she was anonymous there?

r/TributeMe

Footnote: OPs, if links to other subs are perhaps not allowed here, then my apologies and I will understand if this gets removed.

I saw a link for an old Reddit post with some very unscientific data — but the point of it was to highlight the difference between the average man’s penis size (5.0 to 5.5 inches length) versus what women find most satisfying in length and girth (see data on chart). The link with the chart is below.

I was curious if folks in this community would agree somewhat with the chart data? Or what you’d say based on your own experiences?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OkCupid/s/ocAxlDTf72

We’ve been married for 24 years and have 3 kids together. Overall we have a very happy marriage and life, and good sexual frequency for a longtime married couple — we do something sexual together several times per week (unless she has her period).

But stepping back and being honest, we are very different people sexually. My wife doesn’t really have a sexually active brain — she’s never masturbated in her life, she has no fantasies, etc. She is also very “vanilla” in what she’s comfortable and interested in sexually, and she has no want for variety or adventure in the bedroom. I am very much the opposite on all of this.

But as far as toys, she dislikes them and we never use them for her. Over the years I’ve bought several different toys in hopes of enhancing her pleasure, but they’ve always fizzled. We either try them once and then she really gets off on them… but then she never wants to use them again. Or they never even come out of the packaging.

She knows I masturbate occasionally and doesn’t have a problem with that. But like 10+ years ago (after a failed new toy for her) she told me that pussy-simulator toys are gross and that she should be the only pussy I ever want or need, and that she would be really upset if she ever caught me with a toy like that. (I’m paraphrasing as it was more than 10 years ago.. but that’s the general vibe / message I got from her).

Well… now a decade has passed and we’ve grown a little closer sexually. For example — she’s been more eager giving me oral, and within the last year she’s started giving me lubed handjobs (which are incredible from her).

And… I’ve been thinking about getting a toy or two for me, which I would gladly use with her (and/or solo for just me, if that was her preference). Like for example I’m thinking of her stroking me with a Fleshlight, or something like that. BUT… I’m almost certain she’s gonna respond poorly to me asking her if we could try that together. That she’ll be like “we’ve already talked about this (10 years ago) and you know how I feel” — or that she’ll get really insecure and jealous of a toy — or all of the above.

How can I kindly approach this topic with her, since it’s been so long since we’ve talked about it, and it’s something I’m genuinely interested to try now? I really don’t want to upset her… but at the same time I’d like to try this (even if it was just solo). And I’d never want to “sneak” a toy because I don’t want her to lose trust in me.

Thanks to anyone who read this far (and has any advice to share) — and sorry for the very long post!

So… last night I came across this audio recording in another sub… and I am still at a loss for words…

It’s a recording of a couple having what sounds like PIV sex for 30+ minutes, during which the woman has 10+ very distinct orgasms…. This is definitely NSFW so use caution before clicking on this.

https://www.reddit.com/r/overheardsexaudio3/s/y5zOJKxQUW

But… I’m at a loss because… do people REALLY have sex like this??? Or is there perhaps a lot of “acting” going on here?

Has anyone here had sex with their spouse (or a previous partner) that was *anything* like this??

I know “comparison is the thief of joy” but… honestly my wife & I have never had sex even 10% like this so… I don’t know but…

….If this is real then it almost makes me ill to know that two people who are really sexually compatible and sexually skilled and whose bodies match up just perfectly can fuck like this…

FOOTNOTE: If sharing links like this isn’t allowed here, then my sincere apologies to the OPs — no offense intended!

Was just curious if most couples here regularly use sex toys as part of their partnered sex time and also their solo sex time.? Or if any couples here never use toys?

I’m asking because my wife (46F) has just never liked toys — she says they’re weird and fake and kinda embarrassing — and that they take too much work like cleaning and drying and recharging and storing privately — and that they get in between us, and how she just wants it to be us.

Which I hear what she’s saying — but honestly it’s a total bummer for me , as I feel like taking all toys completely off the table removes so much potential for variety and fun and exploration.

So… I was curious to hear other couples’ perspectives on this.

My wife and I (46F and 47M) have been married for 24 years and have 3 kids together.

We have a very happy marriage and we’re best friends. We share in all the duties of life with kid stuff and finances and work and family stuff. We have great outside-the-bedroom intimacy — constant touches and hugs and kisses, and we shower together often.

We have an active sex life, where several times a week we’ll do something sexual together, though probably half those times don’t include intercourse.

I’m reaching out for help and suggestions because I’d really like to expand our bedroom with some new experiences and adventures with her, including toys. I think they could be really beneficial and fun for both of us. But this is where our disconnect is.

She has no interest in variety, and seems totally fulfilled by the small handful of things we do together. She’s told me she has no fantasies and has never masturbated, and I believe her on both. I hate to use the term but she seems very “vanilla” with sex, even though she clearly enjoys it and loves her orgasms.

I feel like I’ve screwed up the sex toys thing, as I’ve bought a few at random times earlier in our marriage — insertable vibrators, dildos, a Satisfyer Pro air pulse clit toy — and all those either got used once and then never again. Or never even got used. Which is crazy because she seemed to REALLY enjoy them while it’s happening, but then is never interested again.

But… I say I screwed up because I totally skipped over starting with (or ever trying) a wand / hitachi style vibrator. Which I understand now that so many women say is their go-to toy.

And also I think a wand vibrator would be more “her speed” because it’s not insertable and she could even keep her panties on and use it like that. But I feel like now she’d frown on trying any new toy like “oh great, another sex toy… why does he buy one of these things every few years? And now he’s gonna want to try it…oh great…”.

Like if I could go back in time I would have us shop online together for a toy, and suggest a wand to her as a starter toy… but now we’re far past that point, and I feel like I’ve kinda poisoned the well with this topic.

I’m sorry for the long post, I know I shared a lot of background info. But from what I’ve shared, can anyone give me any recommendations on how I can approach her about trying a wand vibrator? I just really want to find “the right fit” for a toy for her that she may actually be interested in putting in regular rotation in our bedroom, and I’m hopeful a wand might be the missing piece.

Thanks to anyone who read this far!