u/ParticularToday446

Hey there, getting close to winding the day down and I’m hoping to find someone fun to spend the night and evening with and possible beyond but we’ll see.

*notabot

I’m a married dad who has a real talent for noticing the little things and making people feel seen for who they really are. I’ve been called sweet and kind, funny and witty, attractive, and a bit of an asshole.

Bullying and shit talking are my love languages and I appreciate someone who can take a joke. I love to banter and tease back and forth, consider it foreplay. I flirt with intention and if you’re not rolling your eyes while also laughing and feeling just a little bit turned on, then you need to loosen up buttercup.

I’ll be the best AP you’ll ever have. I can say that confidently without a doubt. You just need to take a shot and see what happens. I’m into sports, fitness, music, cooking and so much more.

My “type” tends to be fellow gym rats who want to share prs, hold each other accountable, and forget why we’re here in the first place being so deep in conversation.

Come shoot your shot, if you dare.

Let’s keep each other accountable. Critique each others form. Share progress pics. Better ourselves. Together.

Quality time is huge for me. I want someone who wants to spend time with me. To laugh with me. To talk with me. To flirt with me. To shoot the shit with me. To build up and build me up.

I’m a married dad of two. I workout often but also love to cook and I’m damn good at it so I’ll never have a six pack, but your mouth will be watering at every pic, not just the ones with my shirt off. I also enjoy music and craft beer.

I’m very sarcastic, but in a funny way. If teasing and bullying is for you, then hit that reply button and shoot your shot.

I find I get along best with other parents. Shared experiences and all. I’m 5’8 with brown hair, blue eyes, and a beard. I don’t have a type per se, but blondes and fit/curvy fit moms with tats can move right to the front of the line.

There’s a million dudes out here, but only one me. You’ll never know what you’re missing out on and forever lie to yourself when you say “there are no good dudes on Reddit.” There is. You just chose not to take the leap and find something you never knew you needed.

Hey there, looking for that connection and chemistry that keeps me up well past my bedtime. Not because I have to stay up but because I can’t put my phone down and pull myself away from you.

I’m a married dad living in the northeast. I like sports, the gym, cooking, music, banter, and so much more.

I’m a bit of a sarcastic asshole but a lovable one. I’ll have you rolling your eyes fighting back a laugh and annoyed at the fact that you’re feeling turned on with each roast.

I’m considered attractive around these parts, at least that’s how the selfie swaps go but my appearance is probably the worst thing about me my. My personality is where it’s it along with my ability to put in effort for the right person only reply if you want to be truly seen however. I’ll see right past your mask and get to know the person on the inside not just who you’re trying to show me you are.

If you’re not afraid to catch feelings then you should probably come sweep me off my feet because this offer won’t last long and you won’t even know how badly you’ll regret not taking your shot until your stuck in yet another boring ass conversation or looking yet another unsolicited penis in the eye.

I’m a 9 and you’re the 1 I need…

Married dad here looking for his gym crush for accountability, flirts, maybe even some feelings.

What I’m looking for is rare, but it exists. I know it does because I’ve had it before and I’m looking for it again. That best friend that you just can’t get enough of. Emotionally, conversationally, and of course physically. Perhaps we’ve got it in us? Or maybe you can get it in you?

I’m funny, witty, attractive, loud, live life with no filter, sarcastic as fuck, and will also be the nicest guy you ever meet. I like sports, the gym (obviously), music, cooking, and so much more.

I get along better with moms and if you’re a tatted baddie with blonde hair, move to the front of the line please and thank you.

Do you think the receptionist at the sperm bank says thank you for cumming?

You could spend it with me instead 😉

Who am I? Just a married dad looking for someone to appreciate him, shower him with affection and attention, and ultimately build a connection like you only read about.

I have a super power in that when I spend time with someone who puts in the same level of effort, I truly get to know you and see you for who you really are. Sounds scary, but it feels really good to be seen and know that someone out there has you.

I like sports, the gym, reading (spy novels and alternate history fiction are my preferences), music, cooking, and so much more.

I don’t have a type but if you can banter, take a joke, give the sarcasm back as well as you can take it, are fit or curvy/fit then you’ll definitely catch my attention. Blondes, jet black hair, or fun colors go to the top of the line please.

I am probably the wittiest, funniest, most attractive asshole you’ll ever meet and you’ll enjoy the teasing and wonder why you get more and more turned on with every eye roll.

Come shoot your shot and tell me how your Monday is going!

Married dad. Beard, blue eyes, sarcastic mouth, competitive streak, and apparently “DILF” gets used more than my actual name around here.

I’m into the gym, sports, music, movies, cooking, and chasing my kids around like it’s a professional sport. I flirt with intention, communicate well, and match energy. Effort is sexy. Personality matters. If you can banter, talk some shit, and make me grin at my phone like an idiot in the middle of the day, we’ll probably get along dangerously well.

What I’m really looking for is connection. Attention. Affection. That feeling where you genuinely want each other and can’t wait to talk again. Best case scenario? You become my favorite person to talk to and the chemistry gets so ridiculous we can’t keep our hands off each other.

I’m attractive, funny, witty, kind, genuine, and just self-aware enough to admit I can also be a sarcastic asshole. The fun kind. The kind that’ll annoy you, flirt with you, and somehow make you feel more seen than you expected.

No exact type, but blondes, tattoos, fit/curvy fit women, black hair, or chaotic color choices definitely don’t hurt your chances.

About you:
• not allergic to effort
• can actually flirt back
• ideally a mom
• funny enough to keep up
• capable of being both turned on and mildly irritated by me at the same time

Maybe this lasts one night. Maybe we become each other’s favorite distraction. Maybe this turns into something neither of us expected.

Shoot your shot. Creativity gets bonus points.

Married dad. Beard, blue eyes, sarcastic mouth, competitive streak, and apparently “DILF” gets thrown around more than my actual name here.

I’m into sports, the gym, music, movies, cooking, and chasing my kids around like it’s an Olympic event. I communicate well, flirt with intention, and bring the same energy I’m given. Effort is sexy. Personality matters. If you can banter, talk some shit, and make me grin at my phone in the middle of the day, we’ll probably get along dangerously well.

No exact type, but if you’re blonde, tattooed, fit/curvy fit, or rocking black hair or some chaotic color choice, you already have my attention.
~
I’m missing connection more than anything. Attention. Affection. That feeling of genuinely wanting each other. I’m not looking to trauma dump or fake some dramatic “dead bedroom” story. I just want chemistry that feels exciting again.

Maybe we flirt for a night. Maybe we become each other’s favorite distraction. Maybe this turns into something neither of us expected.

You won’t know unless you shoot your shot.

Married dad. Beard, blue eyes, sarcastic mouth, competitive streak, and apparently “DILF” gets thrown around more than my actual name here.

I’m into sports, the gym, music, movies, cooking, and chasing my kids around like it’s an Olympic event. I communicate well, flirt with intention, and bring the same energy I’m given. Effort is sexy. Personality matters. If you can banter, talk some shit, and make me grin at my phone in the middle of the day, we’ll probably get along dangerously well.

No exact type, but if you’re blonde, tattooed, fit/curvy fit, or rocking black hair or some chaotic color choice, you already have my attention.

I’m missing connection more than anything. Attention. Affection. That feeling of genuinely wanting each other. I’m not looking to trauma dump or fake some dramatic “dead bedroom” story. I just want chemistry that feels exciting again.

Maybe we flirt for a night. Maybe we become each other’s favorite distraction. Maybe this turns into something neither of us expected.

You won’t know unless you shoot your shot.

So I thought that I would try something new for this post. I was in the midst of the daycare drop off run and I thought I would actually speak instead of try to type the most detailed yet, Also concise post that’s going to grab your attention I will do a quick proof afterwards, but I’m a chatty guy and that’s one of the things that I’m looking for in my person.

I’ll get the obligatory. I am married out of the way obviously I have kids. I’m not a creeper rolling up to a daycare objectively. I am attractive. At least that’s where I have been told around here. I am funny. I am witty. I’m a bit of an asshole. I am also kind, caring and sweet and show up for those to show up for me. Effort and shit are two of my unofficial love languages. I would say physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time are the three buckets that I fall into for the most recognized love languages.

I am looking for someone who isn’t afraid to share their interests with me even if they’re not something we have in common. I personally enjoy sports, spending probably too much time in the gym, cooking, and music. You also must be able to put in effort as what you’re reading is just a taste of what you get when you become my girl. I do not know that I have a type per se however, if you are blonde, have jet black hair, some fun color, blue purple pink have tattoos and are fit/curvy fit move to the front of the line, please.

Location is not a dealbreaker as I find truest of connections are not always within the same regional borders.

When you reply, tell me if you’re skipping to the front or something that’s happened to you recently that you’re just dying to share with someone new.

Married dad, 33. Beard, blue eyes, sarcastic, competitive, and fully aware personality matters more than perfectly curated selfies.

Looking for someone funny, confident, flirty, and a little chaotic in the fun way. Voice notes over dry replies. Affectionate shit talk. The type who gets excited and double texts instead of pretending not to care.

I’m into the gym, sports, music, cooking, reading, and turning meaningless things into competitions. I clean up well, smell expensive, and know how to make someone feel wanted.

Dadbod in the “still distracting in a fitted tee” category. Weak spot for pretty eyes, tattoos, dangerous eye contact, and women with actual personalities.

I like chemistry that escalates quickly. The kind where the conversation starts innocent and suddenly we’re both a little too invested.

Worst case, we waste some time. Best case, you start hoping your phone lights up with my name.

Married dad. 33. Beard, blue eyes, sarcastic mouth, competitive streak, and just enough self-awareness to know personality beats perfectly filtered selfies every time.

I’m looking for someone who can actually flirt back. Funny. Confident. A little unhinged in the entertaining way. The kind of woman who sends voice notes instead of dry replies, talks shit affectionately, double texts when she’s excited, and accidentally turns a casual conversation into “how is it suddenly 1am?”

I’m into the gym, sports, music, cooking, reading, and turning absolutely meaningless things into heated competitions. I clean up well, smell expensive, and know how to make someone feel wanted without acting clingy or chronically online about it.

Physically? Dadbod in the “would still ruin your focus in a fitted tee” category. Beard. Blue eyes. Confident smile. Weak spot for blondes, dark hair, tattoos, pretty eyes, and women who can keep eye contact a second too long on purpose.

You should probably be funny, emotionally intelligent, flirt a little recklessly, and capable of handling sarcasm without acting personally attacked by it.

I like chemistry that feels a little dangerous. The kind where the conversation gets progressively less innocent and suddenly we’re exchanging “good morning” texts like this got out of hand fast.

Worst case? We waste a little time.
Best case? You start checking your phone hoping it’s me.

Married dad. 33. Beard, blue eyes, sarcastic, competitive, affectionate, and fully aware personality matters more than perfectly curated selfies.

I’m looking for someone who can actually flirt back; funny, confident, playful, maybe a little chaotic in the fun way. The type who sends voice notes, talks shit, double texts when excited, and somehow turns a casual conversation into us talking until 1am.

I’m into the gym, sports, music, cooking, reading, and making meaningless competitions feel way too serious. I clean up well, smell good, and know how to make someone feel wanted without acting desperate about it.

Physically? Dadbod in the “still looks good in a fitted tee” category. Beard. Confident smile. Weak spot for blondes, black hair, and tattoos.

If you’re hot, funny, emotionally intelligent, and can handle banter without getting offended every five seconds, say hi.

Worst case? We waste a little time.
Best case? Your friends get tired of hearing about me.