Recently moved from PPM (mid $xxx) to allowance (cost of my studio apartment) with my SD. We’ve previously had many fights about money, him not wanting this to feel transactional, etc. He made it ABUNDANTLY clear that once allowance started = NO further requests for money. As it stands, he’s actually getting the better “deal” out of the allowance, as every month it equals to or is lower than the equivalent amount of PPMs would be.
I’m working about 60 hours this week, and 8 days in a row. I also host every single time, given the fact that he’s married. This was a change from when we first met last year, as I previously lived with roommates. Granted, despite his absolute disdain for discussing finances, I thought it wouldn’t be a terrible ask to ask for a once/mo housekeeper. He does have one for his 6 bedroom house, of course. Chaos ensues.
I feel like I’m being gaslit to the end of the world. I truly love this man, I really do, but would I choose to sacrifice a vanilla relationship for a married man 27 years my senior without any financial incentive? Especially one that I COULD see myself vanilla dating, but will never be allowed to? Probably not.
Some context: I pushed back an important exam about 4 weeks so asked to meet with him an extra day this month. Again, on allowance, with no extra monetary benefit, and just because I like spending time with him.
UPDATE: somehow, he found this post, and told me he was officially done being my sugar daddy. I’m a full bottle of wine deep after watching someone at work die a horrible death today (ER resident). So, I manipulated the manipulator: I told him that if he were to flake on rent, as it was promised to me, I would drive to his family home and ask his wife for it myself. “I’m sure $x,000 is an easy ask to make your husband’s mistress disappear”. (I have his address because I visited his home once while the rest of his fam was on vacation a year and a half ago). I’m not proud of what I did, but I feel like an equal amount of toxicity was spewed from the other side. And he sent the rent to me!!! 😍 So, now I have a month to comfortably search for a new SD in a place of less desperation. That being said, my DMs are open, but only if you have a true provider mindset 🤣