I sucked my fiancé cum soaked dildo and she was repulsed.
One night me 30M and my fiancee 37F were talking about turn ons and things we wanted to do. I’m quite sexual and there is always something new I want to try and whenever I ask her what her sexual fantasy is she says I just want you. We have tried somethings and things I wouldn’t have thought she would try and she loved them but this night I said I wanted her to ride her dildo while she sucked me off. She was hesitant but agreed and we went. Immediately when the dildo slid in her with her mouth around my cock she moaned and it was so fucking hot. It was probably the quickest I’ve cum from head in my life. She sucked me better then she ever had before and we cum at the same time I did. I could see how into it she was and I went to kiss her with my load in her mouth and she pushed me away saying that was gross so I went to the cum soaked dildo and I put it in my mouth and sucked her juices off it, I don’t know why I did it, and I’ve never thought about it before but I felt like it was really hot. I heard her say oh my god, thinking she was into it so I put the dildo further down my throat and looked at her. She was in shock and not in a good way. I stopped and asked her what was wrong and she said never do that again! I said oh sorry, by your reaction I initially thought you were into it but I misunderstood it. She went and cleaned up and came back in. She asked what that was all about and I said that I wanted to make out with you with my load in her mouth and she quickly shut that down saying that was gross and she would never do that, then I said, I seen your cum on the dildo and I just wanted to taste you so I thought I would suck it off (it tasted so fucking good!) then I heard you say omg and I thought you thought it was hot and I continued but I definitely misunderstood. She then told me she would rather me fuck all her best friends in front of her while she watched then me putting a dick in my mouth ever again. She then said if I want to go suck a dick go find a glory hole and suck as many as I want but don’t ever tell her about it. I Felt shamed pretty bad. And that night I dreamt about my fiancé teaching me to suck a guys dick together and it was super hot. I feel so shamed and conflicted to ever bring it up again. I also don’t really want to try anything sexually without her even if she consented. I want to share any and all experiences with her but I guess I just have to learn that’s where her line was drawn? Every time I see her dildo now though I want to see how far I can put it down my throat just to annoy her 🤷♂️
Thoughts?
Recommendations?