myself (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been together for three years. in the beginning we were very adventurous with our sex life but after a year or so it fizzled out. i have a very high drive and he doesn’t.
i also recently found out he has some previous trauma sexually with exes. whenever i try to talk about sex he freezes up and wont really speak about it unless im at breaking point and crying.
it’s the same stuff every time and im a pretty kinky person and he isn’t. i don’t know what to do. i don’t want to make him uncomfortable but i am dissatisfied with my sex life to the point of i cant even imagine him doing half of the stuff im into.
im always initiating and he doesn’t like being surprised due to the trauma so i cant dress up and wait for him. i haven’t had head in two years and its just really frustrating.
at the same time i feel bad because i know he has trauma but i have tried everything possible in my power to help him be comfortable but it doesn’t seem to help. i just feel like im stuck in a bit of a loop.
i love him with all my heart but i just need some advice
thankyou!
edit: thankyou all for the advice, im going to try and bring it up to him that we sit down again and have a very detailed chat, and really try to push him into therapy. i have my own traumas so i understand what he is going through but it is just so difficult to navigate. i will update after the convo!