u/Quick-Humor12345

There. I said it. And you know what… I’ll go one further: we aren’t designed for it— we are meant to be like our cousins the bonobos. They say hello to one another by rubbing genitals. I don’t think we need to go that far, but hey, I’m down if you are.

As middle age rears its ugly head, I realize that all of the things that make one “win” at life, also cages you. Boxes you. Traps you. The conventions of society need to change… and until they do, I shall be here I guess.

About me- silly, smart, sensual, funny, dorky, built like a linebacker - plenty of muscle and cushion. I’m 5’10 and Caucasian and hairy.

About you- smarter than me, good sense of humor, also a dork, and preferably interested in getting the fuck off of this shitty platform.

We meet. We connect. We abscond to a hotel in the tropics, or just one near a major airport, with naught but the clothes on our backs and a case of Gatorade. Sounds perfect.

Or wait, maybe we just find someone else who is really lonely despite seeming to have their shit together… and then feel seen again for the first time in forever.

I’m down for either… just let me know!

—-
Me: 5’10, furry, soft, strong, built like a linebacker/teddy bear. Smart… or at least I like to pretend to be.

You: 30+, educated, willing to play and dream and be silly…

One of the most frustrating things about being a man is that there isn’t a place for us to talk about body issues and dysmorphia and societal expectations. Being a fat kid was hard. And I became funny as fuck to compensate and control. But I suppressed my sexual identity… bodies like mine weren’t allowed to be sexy.

As I am inching closer to 40 every day… I’ve realized: fuck it, I’m sexy as fuck.

And so are you.

I’m looking to bond with someone else on a journey of self discovery, looking for the right kind of tension and eventual passion. But intimacy can manifest in a multitude of ways… let’s see if we click.

Required stats: 17 charisma, 8 constitution, 14 strength, 12 intelligence, 15 wisdom, 7 dexterity

Please be nice, human, sassy, and… sigh… able to type in complete sentences.

Sounds like an emo lyric. 🖤

Maybe that’s how I’m feeling tonight… angsty, introspective, hard on the world— and harder on myself. Feeling misunderstood and lonely. I am an emo lyric… Yep. I’m an emo bro-man-dude who grew up and has a job and does stuff in the world but still feels like I don’t belong anywhere.

I bet you feel that way too.

The world wasn’t made for people like us, it wasn’t designed for feelings. It was designed for doings… and fucking over one another. So let’s not. Let’s be in our feels this Friday night. Let’s fucking feel all the feels and see and bear witness and fucking revel in not feeling alone for one goddamned night. Is that too much to ask for?

About me: built somewhere between a line backer and a teddy bear. I’m fuzzy and strong and soft all at the same time. I have a penchant for pendantics and puns. Avid fan of books, sarcasm, weed, women, and table top gaming.

About you: also in touch with your emotional side. Articulate, smart, sassy, and a touch sensual.

Here’s to all the feelings!

Don’t lie, I know you are. This is exactly the type of thing a stoned person does. Gets blitzed and then flirts with strangers on Reddit. Shit, that sounds like a great fucking idea, thanks for suggesting it.

In all seriousness; this is insane, so it makes sense if we need some social lubricants to get the juices flowing. Or at least the self loathing and doubt to turn down a bit.

About me- big and hairy, smarter than I want you to think, sarcastic, and very much a man.

About you- soft. Sassy. Smart and you know it. Wanting to find something that makes some fucking sense tonight. Or at least have some fun.

Tootles.