i (18f) had sex with my dad (52m) and idk what to do
i made a post on here almost a year ago because my dad walked in on me masturbating and it turned into him watching me while touching himself and we literally never brought it up again- not once- i was going to talk to him but i never did and everything was normal but were in turks and caicos right now for vacation and the drinking age is 18 and 2 nights ago my dad and i were just drinking and we were playing card games and i dont even know how it happened but we ended up in my parents room and my mom was out with my aunt and my sister and me and my dad ended up having sex.
he initiated it but i didnt stop anything and i let him and we went all the way no condoms or anything and im a virgin too so it was my first time. i feel fucking discusting and ive barely left my room the last two days and i feel so dirty and i just dont know what to do anymore. and i dont know if i should tell my mom or not
EDIT: i want to clear up a few things for people: i was completely aware of what i was doing- i consented and i enjoyed it i kept telling him to keep going- it was just as much my fault as his. i just regret it now and i know it was wrong