I was raped at a house party
i just wanted to share my experience on here.
i am a man who was sa (raped) by a woman. (based on her appearance i think she was in her early 20s) when i was a 14 year old boy. i was drunk at a house party and she invited me upstairs. i thought we were just going to play a drinking game but as soon as we got into the room she locked the door, stripped me of my clothes and made tons of sexual remarks about my body telling me she loved my body/figure and my skinny pack (six pack at the time since i was so young and athletic) and proceeded to straddle me, get me inside her, and she rode me like she was fucking me on her last dollar. i think i came inside of her, she was begging for my cum, but i don’t know if i was too young at the time to fully nut inside her. she slapped my face and told me to look at her because she wanted to “see the pleasure on my face” i cried the entire time, screaming for help but the music was too loud for anyone to hear me. eventually i stopped fighting her and just let her do everything that she wanted, still crying and whimpering but just much softer. i am now a 21 year old man still struggling with this but i have gotten so much better and have improved a tonn through psychiatry and different types of therapy.
tbh sometimes i wonder if im making too big of a deal about it. and i get ashamed for that. most people ive talked to have said “why didn’t you just choose to enjoy her body” and my response is honestly i dont know why i wasn’t able to just buckle down and enjoy having her on top of me. honestly i was just really petrified. people tell me that i should grow up and that it wasn’t that bad. people have told me it was my fault for getting intoxicated and going to the party. it’s just so much mixed emotions and its so so so messy