BPD & abandonment
My Master abandoned me and I don't know how to cope. He is my FP, my everything. He broke my trust recently, betrayal trauma which caused me to distance myself to try and process everything but now he abandoned me. He says I'm no good for him when all I've ever tried to be was perfect. Nothing I did was ever good enough.
He said to a mutual early on "I think she's scared of being attached and then abandoned. I won't do that to her" and today, he said he takes those words back. I didn't want to let him in early on, I have a hard time trusting people but he broke down my walls and I decided to trust him. I thought he was safe and well here we are. I know I am not easy to deal with, I warned him early on it would be challenging and he made me believe that I could trust him and to let him in.
I'm shattered. I'm lost. I'm broken.
I have so much trauma and was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I feel like I'll never be enough for anyone. I always get hurt. This has broken me in ways that I'll NEVER recover from.
I never want to let anyone in again.
I don't know what to do.