u/RareSeaworthiness

Every time I post here, I see the message “Don’t scare the hos, bro.” And I am happy to see it and try and make sure people are here for good and kinky times. And I love our mods for keeping things here pretty good overall.

But the people who I talk to in my DMs, especially the women, have a whole different perspective. I have been told about weird messages, unprompted trying to dom people, blatantly trying to push boundaries, and multiple people I have talked to have been doxxed.

Like Jesus Christ guys, if you scare people away from these communities, there won’t be anyone left. If someone says no pictures, then don’t bitch about it. If someone says they’re owned, then don’t try and dom them. And if someone does happen to send you pictures, even if you have an inkling of where they might be located, keep it to yourself and keep it strictly online, maybe gently tell them what they might have done that gave something away, but do it in a non-threatening way and to keep them safe.

This shouldn’t need to be a PSA, this should be common sense. Don’t scare the hos.

Submission can be hard; denial can be harder. But how can someone know they’re doing a good job? Easy: physical reminders of your denial are the ultimate way to ensure you’re staying in that needy, achy space.

The Constant Reminder
Your drenched underwear is a constant reminder, a physical reinforcement that you’re a good girl who is just as needy as your owner wants. They are a physical proof that your body is screaming for release and that you’re being a good little pet who is floating along in a hazy bliss, listening to your Dom over your wicked little clit who is trying to ruin your efforts.

A Tribute to Authority
These are your trials: to ruin your pretty lingerie to better please someone, to turn your mess into something incredible. They are a tribute to your Dom, proof that you’re putting in the work to keep yourself denied and achy—a gift for your Dom to know that all of their training is working. Every worthless slut and needy denial pet knows their purpose is to be looked at and used for their owner’s pleasure.

The Secret Beneath
They are a secret that only you know; that the girl who looks presentable is actually a soaking mess. You are a naughty little denied pet who would beg for release at the drop of a hat. This is your secret: that the real you is hidden beneath your clothes where the desire is dripping and pooling. So sit in your arousal and feel yourself drip into your pretty little panties until they are so soaked they are plastered to your lips. Keep dripping, keep soaking, because the mess of your submission is your beauty.

The Task
So now, for every pet, there are three things to do:

1. The Mantra: Repeat after me: “I’m better when I’m wetter.”
2. The Proof: Send your Doms a picture of your soaked panties next time they are drenched.
3. The Confession: Comment a description of the last pair of panties that you soaked through.

That’s your three tasks. And what good girls you are, showing us exactly how needy you get and following my instructions so nicely.

I thought it would be fun to challenge people to a game here. A version of hangman! I’ll choose a word, and I’ll send you the number of letters in that word. You guess a letter, and for every one that you guess, you need to reveal a dirty little secret to me. You have 6 failures before you lose (Head, Body, each arm, and each leg). If you can’t think of a good confession, then you can take a task for it, but those tasks may include photos to prove that you did the task. If you end up having six misses and losing, then I get the right to post one of your confessions on a subreddit here, with your consent.

Any takers?

Hey! I saw a really wonderful post from a denied pet earlier and felt that other people could learn some good tips from it. I have been reached out to by people before who are interested in being denied (which I am definitely willing to do), but that don’t really understand good ways to find a denial master who will be a good fit for them. If this isn’t allowed by the mods, please feel free to remove!

Denial is a difficult kink to have and a hard place to be in. If your wants and needs don’t line up with your master/mistress/sir/daddy/etc then you’re going to have a really tough time. Below are some things to go over with a dom early to find a good fit and some things to be careful of.

Things to talk to a dom about first:

1. Your Name or what you prefer to be called
2. Duration of time you’re looking to have them help you stay denied (could be permanent, could be a few weeks, could be a single night).
3. Your preferences for dom (gender, age, etc.)
4. Your Main Goal (To be denied forever, to be needier, to support a different kink, to be be sluttier, to hold you accountable, etc)
5. Wants & Needs (Your kinks, how you need to be handled, how often you need them to check in to be effective, how you need aftercare, etc)
6. Limits (Everything that you absolutely won’t do)

The above items are all extremely useful to find a dom who can give you what you need effectively, by setting expectations. If a dom fits most, but not all criteria, there may be some wiggle room on this (I.e. they fit all of your criteria, but you have a piss kink and they don’t, then maybe still talk with them).

RED FLAGS:
- A dom who tries to push your limits
- A dom who isn’t willing to have safety conversations
- A Dom who has a rigid protocol for denial that they apply to everyone without considering your specific refractory period or mental health. Denial affects everyone’s brain chemistry differently.
- If they seem focused only on the "No" and never on the "How are you doing?" Denial can cause "sub-drop" just as easily as impact play. A Dom who disappears immediately after a denial session is a major red flag.
- If they say things like, "You won't need a safeword with me," or "I'll know when you've had enough," run. In denial, you need a clear way to distinguish between "I'm whining because I'm horny" and "I'm stopping this because I'm in physical or emotional pain.

And finally, some tips for doms looking to reach out to the many subs who are looking on here:
- Be Clear About Your Style: Are you a "Cruel" Dom who enjoys teasing and mocking, or a "Steward" Dom who views denial as a way to build the sub's discipline and focus? Being upfront about your "flavor" of denial helps subs find the right match.
- Ask About the "Why": Before starting, ask the sub why they want to be denied. Is it for the physical sensation, the psychological humilation, or the heightened sensitivity? Understanding the motivation allows you to push the right buttons.
- Lead with Safety: Instead of just saying "I can deny you," say "I'm interested in exploring denial with you; let's talk about your hard limits and what your 'yellow' and 'red' signals look like." This builds immediate trust.
- Discuss "The Release" Early: Doms should be clear about whether they ever intend to let the sub come. Some subs want a "Forever" denial, while others will eventually experience physical pain (blue balls/pelvic congestion) and need a scheduled release. A good Dom manages the physical health of their sub as much as the psychological state.

A good way to start a denial relationship is with a trial period, start with 48-72 hours and see how you’re both feeling by then! Please be careful out there!

Note: This approach doesn’t necessarily translate to someone who is already amidst denial and just looking for someone to degrade them or sext with them. This is for people who are seriously looking for someone to help them handle their denial in a D/s style relationship.

Hey, I’m married and kind of interested in being a bull for another couple. My wife is also bisexual and may be down as well. Is there a difference in your mind between your wife with a bull and your wife being used by a couple?

Is this kind of thing common? I really don’t have much experience with the space and would love to understand your feelings on it and if it’s better or worse in your mind?

Exactly what I said in the title, it fits so perfectly to go along with any other kinks a person has, BUT there’s a caveat. The will needs to be strong. This is a difficult kink for people, it’s hard to be horny on the edge all of the time, especially until you hit that sweet spot where the buzzing need becomes like white noise and helps drown out most if your other stresses, knowing that you’re doing everything that you have to do to be a good girl.

Think about some other kinks that people like, and see how well they fit.

Anal only? Yeah, that’s it, don’t touch that wet little ornament that’s crying with need in front, your holes are better used for pleasing your owner. So rub and prep and get ready to stretch around his cock and take his cum deep in your ass while your pretty denied cunt weeps.

Cuckolding/cuckqueening: yeah, you’re unworthy to cum. Maybe his cupcakes are better and more deserving, so you donate your orgasms to them, or maybe it turns your husband on to know that some other man has such a hold over you that he can even control whether or not you cum while your husband has to sit there beating his little dick like his opinion matters here.

Misogyny (took me an embarrassing amount of time to remember how to spell that): good girls don’t cum, it’s in the tag line. Men get to cum, their cum is NEEDED to breed, their pleasure is all that matters. So bow down, rub your little clit so that it’s ready to take your superior’s seed, and thank him for using you at all. Tell him that your pleasure doesn’t matter and you’d rather he take his.

Bladder control: your owner controls everything down there, so of course they control whether you orgasm or not!

Forced Orgasms: oh you broke your denial and came? Well fine, I’ll give you just what you want. You’re going to cum until you beg not to, I’m going to change your brain chemistry until cumming is the thing you want least. Like a kid having to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes, you’re going to hate it by the end and then crave it in a week 😂 good luck not drooling and passing out from the pleasure!

I had this thought after a few messages from other people from this community. Some were needy pets who wanted help staying denied, but I wanted to understand what they liked and the specific flavour of orgasm control. Another wasn’t very clear on her wants (please be specific when asking a person for any version of D/s play), and the last was something else entirely…

I was reached out to by a man who thought I might be denying his wife and wanted to know who I was denying (no shot Im telling someone that without each pet’s permission) and for me to send him the chats because he’s kind of a cuck (also no shot until I can talk to her and get her consent on that). But that conversation was eye opening about what that relationship could look like. And I had never thought about being a bull in a cuck relationship, which was surprisingly interesting!

TLDR: Think about how your kinks can tangle with this kink and the implications of them, as well as being clear with the people you want to speak to so that they can actually help you scratch that itch.

Please comment any other kinks and how they mix with Orgasm Denial, I’m excited to see what other people think!