My (insane?) first time taking edibles
I know this might not really be the place to talk about edible experiences, but I feel like my story would fit here and I wouldn't know where else to put this so I'm giving it a try.
I started off early in the evening, since we (me and my girlfriend) weren't planning on sleeping too late. She had had edibles from the same box twice before and had a great experience while we watched some Barbie movies so I was excited to try next. Little side note, we went to a smart shop to ask about edibles compared to other substances, and the guy that worked there said that edibles will only really make you more chill, and somewhat euphoric. This is also what my girlfriend described afterwards, so I went with it. Turns out that was not how I spend my evening...
Now I want to take full responsibility here. I didn't only choose to take this myself, I also didn't (and still don't really) know how much was in that brownie. I knew there was a delay of about an hour and a half before it was gonna take effect, but I wish I kept to my initial dose...that's called foreshadowing...
So anyway, I started off early. I only took a single bite since it was my first time, and about a fourth of the brownie was gone. I put it back into the container and waited. After a while, my girlfriend had asked me twice if I felt anything yet. I hadn't, and thought maybe I did take too little...This was about an hour into my first bite. I took a second and third bite, leaving about a fourth in the container.
Probably around 2 hours in, I still didn't feel much (see where this is going yet?). So, I made the mistake of eating the last bit of the brownie, now fully committed to the whole thing. This is where things are starting to spiral fairly quickly. I would say I'm about 2,5 hours into the first bite now, but as I will explain later I have no idea about any sense of time from here on out...
It started like my girlfriend had described it. I was feeling more chill and a little wavy, all on all a good time. I wish it stayed that way though, as a few minutes later I asked my girlfriend if we could watch something more relaxing since I was getting stressed out of whatever we were watching. I laid down in bed to try and maybe just go to sleep, but that was where everything went into oblivion.
I was starting to feel like I was living in short moments of time, multiple times in a row. Like what was happening just happened before and happened after again. My mind started to freak out a little here because this was not what I anticipated. After a little bit the moments of time would kind of visually push back like a video clip being shrunk to where you can see the black borders around it to fill up extra space. This was really freaky, and scared me a little. It was like I was watching a movie of what was happening in real life, still in multiple layers and now also not taking up my whole field of view.
As if this wasn't bad enough, these clips now started to play in front of each other, like one would play but then the thing that was happening after that was sliding in front of it like a PowerPoint presentation. And since everything happened like three times at the same time, there would be this inconclusive slideshow of moments in time in around the span of a minute or so, and it was like I was watching my view from a distance with nothing but empty space around it. This is when I started to think I was actually dying.
In my head, three things started happening. First of all, I was convinced that everything I was experiencing was because I was already dying and I was living as a separate consciousness watching my last moments. Secondly, I was getting flashes of audio and visuals of me being in what I believed to be a mental hospital of some sorts. I was hearing the doctors and me family talking but I couldn't engage, I could barely grasp the complete picture of it. I would almost describe it as what I believe it would be to have had a lobotomy or being in a coma and only being able to observe my surroundings without being able to act in it. Thirdly, and this was the most vague one, I was feeling like I was the universe itself coming back to its whole identity. I felt like the clips I was watching was just something that I as the universe was watching and experiencing and that through the brownie I reconnected with my original self. Now, since this was all happening at the same time, I was NOT HAVING IT. I was as scared as I have ever been in my life, just grasping for the little bit of rational thinking I was thinking of and trying to stay focused on the room I was actually in, and my girlfriend whose hand I was more grateful to hold than ever before in our relationship.
This went on for a good while until I inevitable fell asleep. I would say I was probably in this state of mind for about an hour, maybe one and a half until I drifted off. I can't remember my dream, but I remember it was intense. I woke up still being drowsy and the entire day I would still feel the dissociation from reality throughout the day. After that day I was okay again, but it kept me on my nerves trying not to think about the possibility I would never recover. I fully did, after I got more sleep.
Sorry if it was kind of a long post, I just wrote down everything I could remember from that night. This experience has been more bizarre than any dream I could have conjured up, let alone describe it in full. I tried my best to write down as much detail as I can remember but I honestly can't clarify the intensity this trip was for me. If anyone has any questions I would be happy to answer them to the best of my abilities. Thank you so much for reading this whole post through!