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Hello,
I mention compatibility down below, but 90%+ of people aren't looking for this relationship type, so let me let you know right now that I'm looking for open polyamory.
The most important thing is happiness, so I based my post on what scientifically makes a relationship happy, and then I based my post on what I think my most important quirks and whatnot are that may impact compatibility. The long wait has me embittered and pessimistic at times, so I may be standoff-ish or at least a dry texter at first, which I think is understandable considering the odds are against us for anything to come between us two specifically. I'm not quitting. Just trudging along.
I'm seeking a partner who is responsive. Responsiveness is when you understand, validate, care for, and respond to your partner's needs (even when you're angry, down, upset, or there's a conflict). I would like to think that I would be a responsive partner as well.
Some other things that I value in a partner are whether I can trust them, their intimacy with me, and their kindness and warmth.
For trust, I really don't like being lied to, but I like to think that I could handle being lied to in a relationship. A lie bothers me much less if the lying is exceptionally rare and if the person tells the truth that they lied. I expect and want nothing less than every truth from my partner. I want to know the worst side of my partner, and I want them to know the worst side of me because we trust each other enough to disclose our worst sides. Trust is also about always being there for someone, following through, keeping your word, being consistent, reliable, respectful, and making your partner feel secure and safe about sharing vulnerable things.
For intimacy, I would like both of us to be emotionally close. Sharing personal thoughts and feelings with each other is important. Our goal would be to build a deep bond. I would like to think of myself as being okay; okay with being hurt in the moment if it means my partner can share themselves and whatever is on their mind with me.
For kind warmth, I love genuineness. I would like to think that I would be as genuine as possible with my future partner. Caring for others goes a long way. Sometimes it's hard for me to care about others, but when I feel it, I might feel it deeply. I would like to think that I would be caring to my partner, and my partner would be caring to me. Being cared for makes me feel very happy. Kindness and warmth make emotional support from your partner just that much sweeter. I used to be much more kind and warm than I am now. I would like to think that I am kind and warm at my core.
For compatibility, there's no way around it. I will list some things that often might make me (in)compatible with some people. I recognize some of this is tmi for some people, but people do reject relationships over these things, and more communication is generally better than less communication, which is why I am including them. I am single and polyamorous. I want to go slow with polyamory like it's a monogamous relationship, but I am afraid to restrict myself if I happen to find someone else too. I am bisexual with a preference for women usually, and I am heteromantic. My life goal is to retire in my 20s. I am somewhat nihilistic as in an atheist and amoral. My health issues include class 1 obesity, depression, trauma, autism, and anxiety. Physically, I am white, wear glasses, have long (strawberry) blonde hair, I'm balding some, some facial hair, many many stretch marks, and 3" uncut. I am studying computer science, and I want to run a business. I have a bias of being selfish, which is not necessarily unhealthy. I really really like porn and hentai and all the weirdness that comes with them (it's very hard to coom without it, and I'm fine with that). I am clingy and love to call. I am promiscuous but a virgin. I am 5'9" and not athletic (230lbs chubby). I like to be on the internet a lot and stay indoors a lot. I love fast food. My libido is multiple-times-a-day high, and I'm freaky. My humor and stims are quite offensive, but I don't like to upset people with them usually. Sometimes I subconsciously talk back I think (or I stay quiet a lot), but I can't handle it when it happens to me because it overwhelms me (same with teasing and playful insults). Domination is of course welcome, but I need a very steady hand with it. I'm open to other roleplays, but mommy dommes are my thing fo' sho'. I crave comfort.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\[Mind the frustrating formatting issues for the next two paragraphs. Quotes from wiki pedia page about amae, or quotes are otherwise used for nuance...\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\]
One of my values is amae, which is a Japanese word. A person with amae is (quote) referring to a form of emotional dependence or indulgent reliance on others, often characterized by a desire to be loved, cared for, or indulged by someone perceived as an authority figure or caregiver. The term originates from the verb amaeru ... meaning (2nd quote) to depend on another's benevolence (2nd unquote) or (2nd quote) to act in a way that presumes indulgence. (2nd unquote) ... For example, a person exhibiting amae might act vulnerably, expecting indulgence from a caregiver ... without resentment. (unquote) It is described as (quote) (2nd quote) helplessness and the desire to be loved, (2nd unquote) distinguishing it from Western notions of independence by emphasizing its role in fostering closeness. (unquote) (quote) Unlike Western ideals of autonomy, amae blends intimacy with a subtle power dynamic: the (2nd quote) dependent (2nd unquote) seeks indulgence, and the (2nd quote) caregiver (2nd unquote) provides it willingly. (unquote)
This is contrasted (quote)with Western cultures, where independence is often prioritized, and overt reliance might be stigmatized in adulthood. (unquote) \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\[from w. about amae\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\]. You see, I have trouble explaining these desires, but I hope amae accurately depicts them for what I seek in a relationship as a person interested in (quote)acting out(unquote) amae. Another definition for amae from the same source is (quote)the desire for passive love and acceptance, often without explicit reciprocation.(unquote) \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\[from w about amae again\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\] I think striving for amae and achieving it would be a dream come true for me. The desire to feel cared for, indulged, and emotionally accepted is a general yearning I have struggled to put into words for a long time since dependence is associated with unhealthy relationships in Western cultures. However, I want to embrace a healthy relationship form of dependence by using amae as a stepping stone.
Some people see femdom as inherently about serving the domme and doing whatever she wants. It's not to me. I am submissive with an emphasis on wanting to be pampered and spoiled with love and attention.
I want to be indulged and do ageplay especially like being talked to like a child. I am hard to please and fussy, so I want to be fussed over. I want to be generally the receptive partner who has stuff done to them. I'm polyamorous and single, yet I want to be encouraged to indulge in my sexuality with other women through soft guidance, like encouraging me to talk to women I find attractive or guiding my thing into her, but really, I'd like to just be cuddled by and kissed by a bunch of cute girls at the same time. I don't like responsibility or expectations. I cannot do reciprocation nor keeping tallies, but if we were to keep tallies, I would want to have more things done for me than for my partner to have me do for them. If I don't get my way, I get upset. I'm not a brat.
I know what I want, but it can change 10 times in 10 minutes, so I need someone who can improvise while still working within my neverending, changing desires and having them focus on whatever I want, whenever I want but letting them get creative with pleasing me. If I want you to massage my butt, then I'd expect you to do it immediately or asap but letting you surprise me as well like maybe you trace my back or spread my hole since you'd think/know I'd like that. If I tell you to spank me, then I want you to choose the what and the how to do it; I flip the script occasionally, but mostly you would control how my body is interacted with. Having the other person taking initiative in doing things that I desire is the underlying idea. I don't like having to work or control for fulfilling my desires, and I'd rather just be nurtured and indulged by a domme or dommes. I want you to delight in my pleasure and happiness and to have you encouraging me to explore my fantasies and polyamorous love life.
I want my body/physical experience to be dominated. I want my pleasure/sensory focus to be dominated such as having my pleasure guided externally, trusting my partner to attend to me and improvise and make decisions for my enjoyment, and to let me surrender the what and how of stimulation while my role is to receive and enjoy. I want my emotional/experiential space to be dominated such as allowing someone else to take on the responsibility of creating a nurturing and pampering experience, for me to rely on them to guid my enjoyment and comfort instead of controlling it myself, and to give up micromanaging or responsibility, which is often an aspect of being dominated psychologically.
I am not looking to be dominated in my life outside the scene pertaining to my life choices, autonomy, agency, and behavior. My boundaries are non-negotiable as well as my ability to revoke consent. One boundary is don't call me any name or nickname such as good boy because I don't like being described with nouns. Yet, adjectives can be good but ideally you'd be smooth in working your way up to them. For example, "good boy" is bad; "good" is good.
I play many roguelites and single players, but college has me busy. I play Mewgenics when I have the time.
I will add this random bit. I remember this game, an adult game I believe, and even though I skimmed what I read, my mind keeps coming back to it. It was a review for the game, and I've learned and agreed with this for a long time, but I think hearing this idea again after initially reading that review has made me want to say it explicitly. I don't think passion is necessary for love - not at all. It's not mutually exclusive to it though of course. I think love is about quiet, continuous presence once you strip it of everything else. I feel as though more should be said, but... I think a nice poetic ending would be better. I do love poetry. I think love is about being here instead of there, and that's all it is.
If this sounds like you, then please do reach out. I would greatly appreciate it. I want to meet you!