u/SlitherieDee

I know why, it's because they're not real.

But REAL is what I want. I want authentic. I'm not looking for some idealized, perfect representation of what someone thinks a man wants. I want you to be yourself, and I want to grow to know and appreciate you for who you are, and yes, I want that to build an attraction. I've always said I don't really have a type or any expectations as to who I match with. That's still true, but I'll tell you what I picture in my head when I close my eyes and dream of that wonderful woman who messages me and we hit it off spectacularly:

Someone around my age. I need a woman with life experience. Preferably a mother. Partially because it's easier to relate to fellow parents, but also because mom bods are the HOTTEST bods. In a marriage situation where maybe you feel like you need a little more. You don't have to hate your spouse or be packing your bags because you can't wait to leave. But that's why we're all here, isn't it? There just something we're missing, and it's important to connect over that kind of shared need. Someone with availability. We both have lives, and we can't each be on our phones 24/7, but check-ins are nice. Which leads me to communication. Effort, enthusiasm, and a willingness to participate are paramount. This doesn't work if it's just one person constantly trying to drive the conversation. A little back-and-forth keeps both people interested and engaged. Passion, and a need for reciprocation. I feel deeply, intensely, and I need someone who is comfortable receiving that kind of attention and is eager to return that kind of energy. I want a partner who is eager, enthusiastic, and bold.

We're not here for mundane. Let's make it extraordinary...

I'm just a guy looking for a connection that feels a little dangerous in the best way

I’m 44, married for a long time, raising an elementary-aged kid, doing the normal adult-life thing… but missing something that’s hard to describe unless you’ve felt it too. That feeling of anticipation when you see someone’s message pop up. The slow build of inside jokes, late-night conversations, mutual curiosity, flirting that sneaks up on you before either of you fully admits what’s happening.

I’m not looking for perfection or a fantasy version of someone. I’m more interested in chemistry, honesty, emotional connection, and the kind of attraction that grows from feeling seen and wanted.

About me: I love the outdoors, movies that stay with you afterward, music that becomes attached to memories, and books that make you lose track of time. I’m easygoing, affectionate, funny in a dry/sarcastic way, and the kind of person who genuinely enjoys getting to know someone deeply. I like thoughtful conversations just as much as playful teasing.

I’m open-minded about who you are, as long as there’s mutual effort and genuine interest. I’m not in a rush for anything. I’d rather build tension naturally and let things unfold into whatever feels exciting, comforting, or maybe a little addictive.

If you miss intimacy, attention, flirting, emotional closeness, or simply having someone who looks forward to hearing from you every day… maybe we’d get along.

Tell me what you secretly wish you had more of in your life right now.

(Reposting this again because while I appreciate people reaching out, every one fizzled out after a day or less. Ghosted. Dropped. Nothing. But I'm still holding out for that ONE. I know you're out there...)

Forgive my mopey, sad-sack post here. I know it's not attractive. But sometimes real connections lead to real heartbreak, and I'm hoping to find someone who can relate.

To M,

We had a good thing going. An instant connection. It was fun and flirty, and I remember the days I spent at work, not getting much done because I was so distracted with messaging you. Our connection grew deeper. More intense. We had our ups and downs, but we worked it out. Communicated. We were vulnerable with each other. We said "I love you" and we meant it. But life got in the way. We drifted apart. It wasn't my fault or yours. You needed time. I needed you. Probably messaged you too much. You stopped replying. I'll respect your silence. I'll give you distance. But I'll never give up my feelings for you.

- J

If there's anyone out there that knows how this feels, reach out. Tell me about it. Let's talk, let's listen, and find comfort in each other. Maybe we'll find more...

Forgive my mopey, sad-sack post here. I know it's not attractive. But sometimes real connections lead to real heartbreak, and I'm hoping to find someone who can relate.

To M,

We had a good thing going. An instant connection. It was fun and flirty, and I remember the days I spent at work, not getting much done because I was so distracted with messaging you. Our connection grew deeper. More intense. We had our ups and downs, but we worked it out. Communicated. We were vulnerable with each other. We said "I love you" and we meant it. But life got in the way. We drifted apart. It wasn't my fault or yours. You needed time. I needed you. Probably messaged you too much. You stopped replying. I'll respect your silence. I'll give you distance. But I'll never give up my feelings for you.

- J

If there's anyone out there that knows how this feels, reach out. Tell me about it. Let's talk, let's listen, and find comfort in each other. Maybe we'll find more...

Forgive my mopey, sad-sack post here. I know it's not attractive. But sometimes real connections lead to real heartbreak, and I'm hoping to find someone who can relate.

To M,

We had a good thing going. An instant connection. It was fun and flirty, and I remember the days I spent at work, not getting much done because I was so distracted with messaging you. Our connection grew deeper. More intense. We had our ups and downs, but we worked it out. Communicated. We were vulnerable with each other. We said "I love you" and we meant it. But life got in the way. We drifted apart. It wasn't my fault or yours. You needed time. I needed you. Probably messaged you too much. You stopped replying. I'll respect your silence. I'll give you distance. But I'll never give up my feelings for you.

- J

If there's anyone out there that knows how this feels, reach out. Tell me about it. Let's talk, let's listen, and find comfort in each other. Maybe we'll find more...

I'm not looking for a fling. I'm not trying to show you my dong within the first hour and then split. "Show me your tits" is not my energy.

But at the same time, I'm not looking for an online wife. I don't want obligations. I don't want either of us to feel like we have to meet certain expectations.

Can we just find some middle ground? I want it to feel easy for us, so that we want to put forth the effort, not feel like we have to. I want that "spark", but I'm not oblivious to the reality of this situation.

Passion, enthusiasm, and interest go hand-in-hand with patience, perspective, and compassion.

No expectations, just anticipation. Let's strike a balance and fulfill each other.