A provider I've known for a year, came out of the blue asking for money. I decided to give her an amount as an extra-large deposit. Was that the correct way to help her out without crossing any boundaries or coming off as Captain Save-a-ho?
I've been seeing a provider for about about once a month for a year.
In the time that I've known her, she has dealt with constant mental health issues. I feel that we have 'bonded' over being lifelong neurodivergents. We're also similar age, which I think makes me a little unique compared to her usual clientele (men who are old enough to be her father).
In the last seven months, she took her profile down, and I believe she has not been working seriously in that time. She has an ill family member that she has been looking after, and the toll of looking after this person affected her ability to work. She opened up about this around our fifth booking.
Her partner, another working lady, has been keeping them both afloat, but a string of messy personal issues has apparently made it difficult for both of them to as much as they used to. Rate-wise, they might be considered 'mid-level independents' in my city.
Before she took down her profile, she gave me her personal phone number, said it was okay for me to call her by her real name, and was still able to provide for me - I usually book a nice hotel, and I pay her for an overnight outcall with me - dinner and couples massage and chilling at the hotel's swimming pool. Every bit of contact we've made since has been through her personal number. We plan these monthly outings about three weeks in advance.
I have never gifted her anything outside of the very first session I had with her. Since then every tip I've made has been in extra cash after the session, usually around 25% of the booking amount.
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Recently, she texted me about that ill family member passing away, and that she's compeltely devastated. Along with being inactive for so long, she hasn't been able to make much money.
I pretty much could immediately tell that she was trying to ask for money without directly saying she needed help. (Btw, I fucking hate that our society has made it shameful to outright call for help.)
A week before this tragedy struck I had made one of our monthly overnight bookings. Obviously that's been post-poned, due to what she's going through.
I decided to help her out, in the best way I could think, which was that I was going to transfer her the amount for the entire booking+tip, and then I did it.
I trust this woman enough to honor this 'deposit'. I don't believe she's the type to take money and vanish. She has a whole life here in our city, and she is well known in the LGBTQ community.
Anyways, my questions are:
Did I do the correct thing?
Did I do the right thing?
Should I have just gifted her money without expecting anything back?
Am I just another deluded client?
My biggest fear is that somehow this will make me come off as manipulative. In my eyes, I have always needed her services, but if she wanted money, there's countless other men she could've chosen to see.
And inside, my own questions to myself are:
Am I just a fucking loser who will do anything for good pussy?
Am I being manipulated?
I'm well-off but not spectacularly rich. She knows this. So why did she choose to reach out to me?
Has she reached out to her other regulars? Probably, but then if I know this, why did I not let these other men, likely more established in their careers, help her out?
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So yeah, if there's any advice or words of wisdom or just a reality check anyone in this subreddit can offer, I'm all ears.