u/bisexkink

▲ 1 r/BDSMcommunity+1 crossposts

How chastity, submission, and Female led relationships have changed my life

Chastity was never something I expected to grow into. It arrived slowly, like a truth I had been circling for years without knowing its name. At first it was only a fetish, a curiosity at the edge of my desires. But as I leaned into it, honestly, and vulnerably, it became something far deeper: a reshaping of self, a reorientation of power, and a quiet rebellion against the parts of masculinity I no longer wished to carry. I did not arrive at submission through weakness. I arrived through awakening.

For a long time, I wore masculinity the way it is handed to so many men, loud with entitlement, shaped by gluttony, taught to confuse want with right. The world told me that my body, my desire, my urgency were meant to lead. But nothing in me ever felt more false.

Even as a child, there was a softness in me, a quiet inclination toward yielding and reverence that I did not yet understand. But the world was loud with instruction, and patriarchy was not something I merely encountered… it was modeled, rewarded, made to look like the only path forward. So I stepped into it. I learned the choreography of dominance because it was easier than listening to the gentler, more beautiful voice inside me that was urging me toward something better, truer, more authentic. For years I confused survival with identity. Only later did I understand that the part of me I had muted was not something to outgrow…I wish that I knew what I know now… it was the most honest part of me, patiently waiting to be reclaimed.

Chastity came first as curiosity, then as reckoning. What began as restraint became recognition. In denying myself easy release, I learned patience. In surrendering control, I learned intention. Where the patriarchy taught consumption, chastity taught reverence. It became my protest, not through defiance, but through devotion.
CBT. Ballbusting. Denial. Discipline. These are often misunderstood as cruelty. To me, they are language, a vocabulary of consent, power, and chosen vulnerability. They are not about destruction. They are about reordering power where it never truly belonged in the first place. They take what the world crowned as dominant and place it gently, decisively, into more worthy hands.
And those hands…the hands of Women, of feminine power…those are the hands, and feet, where I am most free.

There is a holiness in kneeling before a woman who knows her authority without apology. A woman selfless enough to carry power not for ego, but for intention. To place my desire, my body, my will beneath her is not erasure, it is truth. It is alignment. At her feet, I am not diminished. I am distilled.

Submission did not take my voice. It taught me how to listen.
The patriarchy taught me to take. Submission taught me how to offer.
The world taught me to dominate. Domme women taught me how to belong.
Chastity is not my cage…it is my altar.
Discipline is not my punishment…it is my path.
And service is not my loss…it is my liberation.

And so, I offer my gratitude, not just to the women who have held power over me, guided me, disciplined me, or shaped my submission, but to women as a whole, to you. For your patience in a world that has so often demanded your endurance. For your wisdom in a culture that has tried to silence it. For your strength that does not need to announce itself as dominance to be real. My submission is, in many ways, an act of thanks.

To women who command, who nurture, who resist, who lead, who soften, who endure: thank you for the gravity of your presence, and for the many ways you have made my becoming possible.

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u/bisexkink — 10 days ago
▲ 153 r/GayGifs

Breeding from a stranger…what am I 23 again??

u/bisexkink — 11 days ago
▲ 48 r/MrHankeyToys+2 crossposts

Stretching my hole with my XL Hankey Plug

u/bisexkink — 11 days ago
▲ 41 r/cbtBDSM+1 crossposts

Mistress Nicci wrote a recent blog post that touches on how we develop our fetishes and kinks from a young age. I found it very helpful to read in relationship to my various kinks, especially chastity. I’d recommend reading her blogs and following her insight.

u/bisexkink — 16 days ago

I’ve been following Mistress Nicci for a while now, and what consistently sets her apart isn’t just her expertise in the dynamic, it’s that she clearly gives a damn about the broader ecosystem that makes this community possible. Yet another reminder that Women and the Feminine spirit has always and will always be superior in every way.

Read blog post here

She just published a really thorough breakdown of Colorado Senate Bill 26-097 on her blog, and if you haven’t read it yet, I’d encourage you to. The bill would make Colorado the first state to fully decriminalize consensual commercial sexual activity between adults, and she walks through exactly what that means in practical terms…ie. the difference between decriminalization and legalization, how the statewide preemption clause would protect workers from targeted local ordinances, and why the bill’s firm stance against trafficking and exploitation is actually a feature, not a concession.

As a privileged, white, male, submissive who benefits from the work that prodommes do, reading something like this is a reminder of how much labor goes into this community beyond the sessions themselves. Mistress Nicci is out here educating her audience, advocating for worker safety, and translating dense legislative language into something accessible, all while running her practice.

For those of us who care about this community thriving long-term, supporting providers who engage this thoughtfully is the least we can do. Go read the post, share it, and stay informed as the bill moves through committee.

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u/bisexkink — 17 days ago