Hey everyone, I need some honest advice.
I (27M) have been with my girlfriend (26F) for almost 3 years. Recently during an argument, she told me that I’ve never made her orgasm and that I “don’t know how to.” That honestly hit me pretty hard.
The thing is—I’ve genuinely been trying. Whenever we’re intimate, I ask her what feels good, if she wants something different, more/less pressure, etc. But she usually doesn’t have clear answers. A lot of times she’ll say the sensation is “too much” and wants to stop.
She has never touched herself. The only gets off isby closing her legs tightly and building pressure that way, which u can't replicate during sex. I told her many times that she should start playing with her clitoris and se what works for her, what doesn't and let me know. She says it feels very weird for her to touch herself like that.
I even bought a vibrator to enhance her pleasure and she felt amazing with it. But again, when the sensation is too much, she says she feels like peeing and stops it right there and then later blames me that I couldn't make her cum
What’s frustrating is that this only comes up during fights, not as a calm conversation where we can actually figure things out together. When I try to talk about it normally, it doesn’t really go anywhere.
I’m starting to feel stuck because I’m willing to learn and improve But I don’t feel like I’m getting any guidance. And then it gets used against me later
I don’t want this to become a blame game. I want us to actually figure it out together, but I’m not sure how to approach this without it turning into another argument.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
How do you navigate this when your partner isn’t very communicative about what works for them?
Appreciate any advice.