I’ve noticed that when I have vaginal sex with my wife, as soon as I penetrate her, I am extremely sensitive to an unpleasant degree, get painfully hard and rigid and find it extremely difficult to thrust and not cum immediately. I also get dry mouth and sweaty on palms and feet for some reason. I don’t last more than 30 seconds the last few times, and when I cum, it doesn’t feel good, there’s barely any climax, and I ejaculate but without pleasure, sometimes it feels worse than not cumming at all and there is a long refractory period.
If we start with vaginal with the intent to go to anal then this still happens but I’m able to hang on longer. However when we finally do have anal my orgasm is so-so.
However, when we do anal, and only anal, this never happens and I last as long as I want and build up to a nice satisfying climax. My erection stays constant and doesn’t pulsate with hyper-rigidity like it does when I’m in her pussy.
I have long had an anal fetish I suppose, an extreme preference for it, I had some very formative early experiences and let’s just say that 99+% of the time when I was a teenager if I orgasmed to a fantasy or porn it’s been anal related.
I am wondering if there is some kind of conditioned anxiety going on. I’ve never really liked vaginal sex (my preference would be anal only) and if I am honest, I think this may be some performance anxiety feedback loop.
Context about formative experiences - perhaps relevant?
The first two women I had sex with I couldn’t really keep it up or orgasm. Then third girl we clicked and also did anal and that was my first actually good sexual experience. However I’ve also had relationships when I was younger where my gf thought it was weird I liked anal so much and called me a f*g when we broke up lol
So I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this? I’ve been trying to power thru it and still have vaginal sex sometimes but I cum so quickly it’s becoming impossible, and the amount of time it takes me to cum is getting shorter and shorter. Pretty soon I will be having this sick feeling non-orgasm upon first insertion. Last time it took like 3 thrusts.
But then two days later we did anal and anal only, she wore panties that cover the pussy but not her ass, which I love. We fucked for as long as we wanted and came really hard.
Is this some sign that we need to just be AO?
Edit: it’s been a problem for some time but it’s becoming consistent and worse every time now with shorter and shorter time periods before I burst involuntarily