I’m an obsessive freak
Word for word, I’m an obsessive freak. I literally have never reached this point before. I (20f) keep thinking about him (18m). I check his socials ALL THE TIME. Mainly tt because it’s easier access to which girls I think he might be getting along with, I stalk their repost to figure out if there might be something going on, and if it feels like it : I just crash out on my own. I also check if he comments or something like what the heck.
He has NO IDEA (I think) about what effect he has on me. Sure we’ve talked about a bunch of things : sexual preferences a few times, relationships views and shit but it never was about us. He’s a very busy guy while I’m not so busy. I feel like I literally conditioned myself to feel rewarded when he replies, or sends me something or even likes my reposts.
Sometimes I feel like he’s doing the push and pull method, sometimes it’s just so close to chemistry and other times it’s just the usual.
Also, every time I masturbate, I finish and instantly think of him and it’s just so satisfying. I just wish he’d do anything and everything. I just crave him so much.