A bit of pretext. I (M) have been happily married for a few years now. I still am happily married. I personally think my marriage has been very strong. Nothing in particular has been wrong with it, and I am very happy with my wife.
With that being said, it pains me for me to have a crush on another woman. For almost 2 years now, I've had this crush. We were coworkers at my old job. We had great conversations when we were at work. I very much enjoyed every moment we got to spend together. Looking back at it, it was my favorite time at work. But then I got a new job, and I had to leave. I still have her contact, but I would never dare to reach out to her.
This crush that I have for her is a very strong feeling. I'm scared to admit to myself that it's more than a crush. I question myself if I actually like her, or I like the idea of being with her. I have found all of her socials, I have looked up every bit of info on her on the internet, and sometimes I drive by where she lives if I'm in the area. Sometimes I message one of her old deactivated accounts just to pour out my feelings for her. Maybe all of those things are a bit extreme and obsessive, but I just can't get her out of my mind. She plagues my thoughts. I want to learn everything I can about her. I want to share in her interests and have good times just like we did back when we worked together.
I'm not looking for advice. I just wanted to let this off of my chest. I hope to one day get rid of this crush that seems to forever torment me.