I am a mother who is sexualizing my own daughter for the world
She is 18 and off to college
It started small. I noticed how her body had filled out with curves in all the right places and that natural glow of youth that turns heads without trying. I began encouraging her to dress differently. Id take her shopping and steer her toward tighter clothes: form fitting tops that hug her chest, short skirts that show off her legs, low cut blouses that reveal a hint of cleavage. At first she was hesitant, laughing it off as mom being weird, but I insisted. You look amazing in this, Id tell her. Why hide what youve got? Wear it out with me today. And she did. Shed blush, tug at the hem or adjust the neckline, but she wore it.
Now its a habit. When we go out shopping, grabbing coffee, or walking in the park I make sure shes in something revealing. Tight jeans that accentuate her figure, dresses that cling to her hips, outfits that leave little to the imagination. I love picking them out, watching her try them on, then stepping out where people notice. Men stare with eyes lingering on her body. Women glance with envy or disapproval. There have been catcalls, whistles, crude comments from guys in cars, and murmurs of Damn look at her as we pass groups.
My daughter gets uncomfortable. Shell whisper Mom theyre staring or try to cover up by crossing her arms or speeding up. I tell her to ignore it. Just walk tall sweetie. Let them look. Its nothing to be ashamed of. I say it casually but inside I secretly love it. That rush when I see their eyes on her knowing shes turning heads and desirable makes me feel powerful. It feels like Im shaping her into someone bold and unapologetic. I catch myself smiling at the catcalls pretending to be annoyed for her while my heart races with this twisted thrill.
Im pushing her toward something more. She has potential in those looks that body and the way she moves without realizing how sexy she is. I want her to enjoy the attention even crave it the way part of me does through her. Its wrong. Mothers arent supposed to think like this.