u/kaylees_feet

So as a newer domme, right about 4 months in, I had mixed feelings about whether or not to write this post. However after discussing this with both a domme friend and a sub I have a good rapport with, plus a post by the oh so insightful u/ spicylimerence (worth a read!) I decided to proceed. 

One day a new follower popped up on my page. As usual I check out their page and see if it’s someone that is even active on findom and whether we are compatible. After a few days I had completed my reconnaissance and proceeded to message him. We got along amazingly and he was thrilled to send a tribute when I brought it up. We had our first session the following day and it was so incredibly hot. Like nothing I had experienced. 

Now comes the part where Spicy really nailed it.

Within the next few days he gushes about how he “wasn’t looking to start a new dynamic” but my hunting approach and his love of being “prey” made me irresistible. He couldn’t believe how I was able to find his triggers so easily but if you are a legitimately dominant person with the ability to read between the lines, you couldn’t miss it. It was blatantly obvious to me that he not only wanted to be mind fucked, he NEEDED it. For the next couple of weeks it burned extremely hot and fast. Also with the same refrain from him “You’re too good, it’s too easy for you to control me and take my money, it’s never been like that before” and ultimately it went down in a ball of flames. Most of the responsibility was placed at my feet for the exact reasons he became so obsessed to begin with. See the post on my profile if you want all the details but I’ll keep it shorter here and do a TLDR:

Dommes, no matter what your experience level, if a sub tells you that you are too good and mind fucked them into quitting, wear that shit like a badge of honor. Don’t let a sub convince you that somehow YOU are at fault for his failings because that is a lie. Keep going, keep growing, because I promise you, the right sub is going to love the mind fuck. They are going to find it hot and embrace it while still staying within their boundaries.

Subs, fucking do better. Take responsibility for your own actions or inactions as the case may be. Don’t blame a good domme for actually dominating you. Like wtf bro, isn’t that why you are here?? Now obviously this doesn’t apply to all subs so if this isn’t you, please proceed and do not take offense.