ive never had fast acting oxy, Only normal ones. I know the usual dose of fast acting oxy without tolerance is 10mg, maximum 15mg. But i got these oxynorm 20mgs and i dont wanna split the doses and stuff since theyre capsules. so im wondering how 20mg IR will feel like with no tolerance, Nodding out? Stop breathing? Dangerous?
for context im from sweden and just translated this text to english since i couldnt post in the swedish version of this sub.
This post will probably be pretty long because of the context, and I’ll most likely delete it after I get some proper answers that can actually help. I’ve been in this sub for 2 years now and I know there’s probably some good soul here who has the answers I need. Also, this is absolutely not meant to be some emotional “feel sorry for me” thing — I just want genuine advice. This post won’t really be that much about drugs, because I don’t think that’s the biggest issue here, and I already know I’ll probably never fully quit long-term.
I’m pretty young. Probably young enough that I can’t even say my exact age here, but around high school age.
I have no education, no grades, no discipline, and no clear goal in life. I live in an HVB home, and the people I care about keep going in and out of prison, and right now they’ll be locked up for a longer period. I’m not really an emotional person or anything, I’m mostly just worried about my future.
Eventually I’m supposed to start IM to catch up on grades, and honestly I don’t really want to. I’m mostly doing it for my parents, my future, and social services of course, since I’m legally required to follow a certain plan that includes meetings with counselors, drug tests, “working on myself” and my “norm-breaking behavior,” etc.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle IM plus high school just for an education. But I also don’t want to be some broke bum my whole life begging friends and family for money for drugs. My dad and brothers were once in my situation too, except they were less of a junky and more involved in crime. It worked out for them eventually. Sure, they still use sometimes, but they make good money and can take care of themselves. But I don’t think I’ll end up the same way. I don’t really have the same discipline or drive. I kind of enjoy being an ignorant junkie who doesn’t take responsibility for my actions.
I’ve heard that places like Samhall and Volvo don’t require much education. I’d like to work somewhere that doesn’t care about my convictions, doesn’t constantly drug test me, and doesn’t require education. Literally any job. That’s honestly my only real goal — to at least be able to support myself. I know that if I really locked in and tried, it would be extremely hard, and probably hard for a long time. My brother had to apply to hundreds of jobs before getting hired, and on paper he doesn’t even have half the problems I do.
I know I have to fix my own life because nobody is coming to save me.
But I kind of want to wait with that. Right now I’m basically in my “prime time” and can more or less do whatever I want without real consequences because I don’t really have responsibilities yet, at least after my treatment plan is over. I’m already pretty deep into this life. I probably won’t even be allowed to move back home until I’m 18–20, and by then I won’t really have anything to come home to. Sure, I feel way better at home with my family, but I’d still just be the same bum sitting inside all day doing ket and oxy.
Even though this is the life I want to live right now, I know I’m going to regret it badly in the future. Nobody wants to be 25 and just starting life while everyone else already has stable jobs and wives.
Like I said, I WANT to change, but I’m not fully sure I actually BELIEVE I will. What options do I even have? I don’t want to become a criminal running around selling drugs, but I also don’t want to stay half-sober and behave for years just to maybe get an education.