u/kingcountry

getting cheateedd honestly made me darker mentally than i used to be 😭

before all that happened i never paid attention to emotional dependency or jealousy that much

now it’s the first thing i notice in people

who gets nervous when i disappear for a little

who suddenly changes their tone once they’re emotionally attached

who acts emotionally cold while secretly craving reassurance nonstop

that stuff stands out to me instantly now

and porn definitely made everything worse because at some point my brain stopped caring about casual flirting completely

now the thoughts are always heavier

cuck fantasies

peggging

clingy boys obsessing quietly

people secretly wanting emotional control, reassurance, attention, and attachment all mixed together 😭

especially the overthinkers

those are always the ones that spiral hardest once feelings start getting involved

they’ll pretend they’re relaxed while internally losing their mind over who else might have your attention

checking your page

replaying conversations

waiting for replies while acting like they don’t care 😭

and honestly the bbc dildo obsession became connected to all of that too after a while

less physical

more psychological

wanting somebody badly enough that jealousy changes their entire mood for the night

wanting reassurance so much they become softer without realizing it’s happening

that emotional intensity honestly ruined normal relationships for me

sometimes i just sit quietly with old music on while my brain creates fake situations about emotionally attached boys getting more possessive and needy over time until they can barely hide it anymore

and the craziest part is they always think they’re hiding it better than they actually are 😭

they never are

meanwhile i’m sitting there eating midnightsmokehaze pretending i’m not noticing every little thing changing about them

i think the weirdest part about getting cheateedd is how it changes the way you see people afterward

before that happened i used to believe whatever somebody told me straight up

now i notice everything without even trying 😭

the way somebody starts replying faster once they’re emotionally attached

the tiny jealousy hidden behind certain jokes

the way clingy boys suddenly start acting softer after enough late night conversations

i always notice it now

and honestly being alone too much mixed with porn completely scrambled my brain because regular flirting barely feels real to me anymore

my thoughts always drift somewhere darker

cuck fantasies

peggging

chastity cages

emotionally needy boys pretending they aren’t desperate for reassurance

the whole psychological side of it gets under my skin way more than anything surface level ever could 😭

especially the quieter moments

somebody laying there overthinking if i’m giving attention to somebody else

somebody acting emotionally detached while secretly checking their phone every five minutes hoping i text back

those are always the people that end up completely attached without realizing it at first

and i swear the bbc dildo obsession became less about porn itself and more about the emotional intensity behind everything

the jealousy

the obsession

the craving for validation

wanting somebody’s full attention so badly it completely takes over your thoughts at night 😭

sometimes i just sit there with old music playing softly in the background while LEDs glow against the walls and my brain creates entire fake scenarios about emotionally attached boys slowly spiraling from affection, teasing, and overthinking

and the craziest part is how obvious it becomes once somebody’s emotionally hooked

their whole personality changes little by little

they stay up later

they text differently

they start needing reassurance without saying it directly 😭

meanwhile i’m sitting there eating midnightberryhaze pretending i don’t notice any of it even though i absolutely do