u/lilypadfairyyy

I (27F) been hiding diapers and binge/purge cycling since I was really young, recently back in diapers when I'm home alone. Kind of looking for someone to talk to I guess!

I have a new boyfriend and he's so wonderful, and I told him sometimes I wear them for medical reasons and he's been really nice and supportive. But I'm also into them as a kink, and idk how he's going to deal with that. He's kinky but he's never done any ABDL stuff.

I struggle with some chronic conditions as well as PTSD from csa and medical trauma. When I'm dealing with emotional stress or autoimmune/body issues, I get serious overactive bladder (sometimes every 10-20 mins), pelvic pain, etc and while I technically can manage without diapers, it sometimes gets super hard without diapers. I've been to a couple doctors, and my pelvic floor is strong apparently.

I'm also an age regressor sometimes (non-sexual and sexual), and when I start to get overwhelmed or have PTSD symptoms, putting on diapers almost always calms me down. My therapist says that it's fine and makes sense that they help me but I keep feeling super ashamed that I like them so much.

Being ashamed that I'm into ABDL as well as using them medically always feels so confusing.

Is it even okay that i think about how much easier my life would be if I could just wear diapers most of the time? It takes almost no effort to turn off my holding instinct and just be like dribbling, and when I'm not diapered it feels like i'm constantly holding my pee and using every public bathroom I pass by (unless I'm dehydrated). Am I crazy for wishing I could be diapered every day?

How do I ask my bf if he would be down to help change me and engage in a sexy way? I've never been changed by anyone else. Has anyone else had partners who weren't previously into it but are now?

This is such a long post it's just been so on my mind. Talking about it seems to help, could always use some encouragement and affirmations.