45 [F4M] #Florida - Some Clever Title, Maybe A Pun
Hello again my many mistakes,
I am a single woman currently living in Southwest Florida once more making the incredibly questionable life choice of attempting to meet people through Reddit. We all know the apps are basically an endless purgatory wheel of people you don’t vibe with. A girl can see only so many pictures of golf games and men holding fish, or worse the photos clearly taken by an ex with a kid, face unobscured, in their laps. I’m still on and still occasionally check messages I’ll likely never answer, but I expect a continued waste of time for all involved and suspect that’s what the marketing companies running the products want.
So, me. I’m divorced (for a couple years now), fully employed (in fact work probably chronically too much), and have a fairly full schedule. There's friends, family, and a whole load of obligations and responsibilities that I can't set aside completely. I've also got a job that needs me to be composed and “on” much of the time. All this means that when I check out, I like to fully disconnect. I think I'm finally at the place I want to do some of that with someone, and I'd like for it to be someone I genuinely feel aligned with.
Some more about me since I know many will skim:
(While I'm on that subject, making it obvious you did so by knowing none of the things clearly stated in this add will earn you no points.)
- Latina, fair, dark eyes/hair (that changes often and currently Cherry Coke™ but may soon return to purple-black).
- 5’4-ish and plus-sized/curvy, so please actually be into that.
- People tell me I'm pretty cute, but who knows what they really think. I feel like canvas never look the way mirrors do.
- Elder millennial/Junior Gen X with lingering goth tendencies still listening to The Cure & Morrissey on the regs.
- All over the place with taste otherwise. At this moment it's Childish Gambino; earlier it was Stevie Wonder.
- 420 friendly (honestly preferred if we're going to hang out).
- Former (way former) wild child now more interesting conversations and chemistry than party kinda girl.
- Equal parts competent adult and bizarre witch creature.
- Big reader of fiction and non, currently deep diving The Dark Tower (I really want a DT buddy), but also spend a lot of wasted hours on YouTube deep diving whatever science or history thing I'm currently focused on.
- Not a ton of TV but I do like movies (Sinners was rad, huh?) and I'm not against the former if it's something that catches my interest. I think Severance was the last “newer” show I've watched.
- Not especially into gaming, anime, and a lot of other typical nerd pillars. I much more appreciate people who genuinely love learning things and can be enthusiastic about them than some specificity of pop culture interest.
- I work in an industry closely related to death and I realize that can make some people uneasy. I promise it's not so bad and bravery gets you tremendous appreciation.
I should also mention that I lean pretty progressive, including active volunteering and organizing. I doubt I'd appeal to MAGA anyone, but just in case lemme say it loud—*N*zi punks f*ck off.* Don't message me with any, “why are you making this about politics” BS. I'm not.
What I'm looking for is harder to put to words, but here goes. I like smart, empathetic, and curious. I like people who treat rapid babble about some deep level Paleo or anthropology nerd subject like flirting. I like people who understand their limitations but keep pushing them anyway. I don't want to agree with you. I wanted to debate and talk and have that be okay, or actually wanted. I want some balance of personal life and work and it would be baller if my partner also got that.
I like people who want to take things apart and understand them. Guys who read books through twice to really get them or who dive into subjects until they are figured out. Emotionally intelligent, observant, and funny is my bag. I think I just like someone that speaks my language.
I find myself most drawn to men who have some complications and contradictions (probably to my detriment). Did you do all the crazy sh*t as a kid like me and need to figure it all out yourself from there? Are you also the most capable and competent person you know but somehow manage not to turn into a narcissist? I do like masculine, but I don't need a lot of macho BS energy in my life. My ideal person can show up professionally and personally without ever seeming fake, because they aren't.
Confidence is big. Protectiveness also. Realism is the only point of view but I like to see that as clarity rather than pessimism. Steadiness is a big deal. Intelligent in a real life, lived-in way is best but I'll be real and say I won't stay interested long if I feel like I'm smarter or somehow dragging my partner along behind. That's no fun.
I don't have demands (or particularly care) about your job as long as it supports your lifestyle and makes you reasonably satisfied. I'm interested in chemistry and multi-hour conversations, depth and curiosity. And sometimes being completely braindead together. Please don't be a calcified business robot or six foot child, if possible.
I tend to prefer taller. Tend to prefer white guys (I love my people but Latin men just make me think of my uncles or my dad and that really kills it for me), but there are no real hard and fast rules there. Basically, this is a **Goth Seeks Labrador** search, and I know that not every lab is necessary down for the weird.
It would also be crazy helpful if you could read through all of this and still see that I'm actually quite sweet, affectionate, loyal, and dirty, and probably just want some of that to have a reason.
On the smexy-sexy side of things, I'm going to keep it brief. I'm finding that while I'm an open book that's pretty far from vanilla, detailing these things tends to bring the wrong crowd. I'm going to just trust the process and believe that anyone who aligns in me in other ways will most likely align with me in this way too.
I like deep attachment, affection, and possessiveness. I prefer a man who takes a forward role without also being a creep who breezes through consent. As a personal note, I lean towards once direction of the dom/sub dynamic (you can guess; I'm a girl), but I'm a little bit flexible there. I like man energy. I definitely like big and tall. I like feeling desired. I like a man who can take control naturally while still being deeply caring underneath it. Trust in power dynamics is everything, so expect to be able to use your words and talk.
Being very clear, I'm interested in a relationship which will not immediately lead to sex, but this is a hurdle I'd like cleared to be sure we aren't both spinning our wheels on an important part of intimacy.
Please no kink arrangements. No married men. No cuckolding or cheating. No big gender dynamic swings (I'm an ally; it just doesn't turn me on.) These things are not for me. Neither is anything to do with your butt, the bathroom, or feet. Sorry kids. No short term in general.
Because it comes up way too much, I'll say it again for the back of the room—Unmarried only. Truly. Completely. No “it’s complicated,” no secrets. Hard boundary.
Age-wise 35+ is best but I'd be better inclined for approximately or beyond my age by far because I just feel like we'd have more in common.
Physically near would be ideal. I'll be honest and say I'm unlikely to take you seriously living in some other state. It's just not realistic and long distance blows.
Please say more than “hey.” If you need a jumping off point:
- Tell me what you’re currently fascinated with. Social interests are hot.
- Tell me who you are beyond the stats, then also tell me those. 👀
- Most of all, tell me how you've actually read through all this nonsense and pickiness by proving you have.
Worst case scenario, we briefly improve each other’s week via validation. Best case, maybe awesome?