stripping while mentally ill is a different kind of exhausting
i don’t think people realize how emotionally demanding stripping actually is. one of the hardest parts of the job is that you have to be “on” constantly especially now when clubs are slow and customers are more selective with money.
if you’re not bubbly enough, flirty enough, confident enough, energetic enough, sexy enough, funny enough, approachable enough, men can feel it immediately. and when they feel it, your money reflects it. there’s no clocking in and quietly doing your job while having a bad day. your emotional state is literally tied to your income.
and it becomes 100x harder when you’re mentally ill or going through something devastating in your personal life. heartbreak, grief, depression, anxiety, trauma, burnout, whatever it is. you still have to walk into the club looking perfect and act like you’re having the time of your life for hours straight meanwhile internally you feel like your world is collapsing.
i think that’s what makes this job uniquely exhausting sometimes. you cannot really separate your emotions from your performance. if i worked a normal job and had a horrible week mentally, i could probably still survive financially by just showing up and doing the bare minimum. in stripping, the bare minimum usually makes you no money. you have to sell fantasy, attention, energy, confidence, connection. and customers can absolutely sense when your spirit is low even if you think you’re hiding it well.
some nights i’ll sit in my car before work trying to force myself to become a completely different person before i walk inside and sometimes i can do it. other nights i genuinely can’t. sometimes i literally have to disappear into the bathroom for 10 minutes just to cry, fix my makeup, stare at myself in the mirror, and try to pull myself together enough to go back on the floor smiling again like nothing happened. and then there’s this guilt spiral because now you’re mentally struggling AND not making money because every minute off the floor matters.
idk. i just feel like people glamorize this job a lot online without talking about how emotionally brutal it can become especially for dancers who are already fighting battles in their own heads every day. i know i can’t be the only one who feels like this.