u/plantmomlavender

hey everyone :)
I (19F) and this guy (20M) met and discovered that we’re both interested in exploring a femdom dynamic. we’ve met a few times, have tried some stuff and talked a lot about interests, no-gos and more, and everything seems really good.

however, he’s more experienced than me, and I struggle sometimes with feelings of insecurity. for one, in certain moments, I feel like he’s ”demanding” more than sharing this dynamic with me, and I’ve noticed that it is very important to me that I’m also valued as a full person. we’re also not monogamous, and I’ve never had an arrangement where my partner sleeps with other people too, so that’s also something that’s been making me feel less secure. but the dynamic is definitely for me! I’ve just been struggling with these feelings. and I also think that some gender dynamics are at play here, because as women we are socialised to not really communicate our needs and wants, and just accept that we’ll be seen as an object a bit.

so I wanted to ask how you guys navigate kinky fwb’s and insecurities that may come with them. I think I’ll tell him that non-sexual compliments are important to me, and to give me time as it’s my first time with a lot of these things. i’d also be interested in a daily checkup thing, so I might ask him about that. but I’m pretty inexperienced, so I wanted to ask this sub for any words of wisdom <3

so I (19F) have been interested in being dominant for a while now, and matched with this guy (20M) two weeks ago on a vanilla dating app. we started chatting, both very honestly about what we were looking for and realised we‘re both interested in trying out a femdom dynamic, as friends with benefits. he has a bit more experience than me, which makes me a bit nervous, but it‘s fine. on the first night, we set a date for the weekend that‘s coming up now. over text we‘ve been very intimate, and I‘ve disclosed kinks I haven‘t told my closest friends about. but we‘ve never seen each other in person before, and I‘m soo nervous. I feel like a first meetup is always a make-or-break thing, and in the past I‘ve had first dates that led nowhere, so ig I‘m scared he won‘t like me or I won‘t like him or - I‘m just feeling anxious.

anyways to the actual question - we decided I‘d decide what to do on the date. he was talking about this ping pong bar which I like, but also I‘m a sore loser so I‘m not sure.

does anyone have other ideas? or honestly I‘m looking for a bit of a pep talk too, cause I‘m pretty excited but also very new to this thanks yall <3