u/plushpillowpearl

When me and my partner do get around to sex (he has low libido) it's incredible, and so worth the wait. But I get so tremendously frustrated that I can't stay satisfied for long.

The thoughts start creeping back just hours afterwards and I'm lucky to get him to go for a round one, let alone a round two.

It's even WORSE when I'm on my period, it's like on hyperdrive and is so frustrating!

I've been merging the two lately and have been absolutely obsessed with it. Yesterday I used screen control to set up an alarm on my subs phone. He is not allowed to access the clock app.

When his alarm goes off, he has 5 minutes to send the amount the minute shows on the clock. If he misses the send, it's doubled.

For example, I set an alarm for 5:25AM. He sent $25 within 5 minutes, but if he didn't it doubled to $50.

The thrill is he never knows when it's coming 🤭

Where does it stem from? Trauma? Genes?

How does it affect your daily life? Positively? Negatively?

You will enter into a debt contract with me.

You will send me information, nudes, and secrets as I see fit. Or, I will find them out myself. I'll dig through your devices and take the information from you.

You will make your payments religiously on your debt contract to ensure you information stays secure. Like your life depends on it, because it does. Unable to commit to a payment? Not an option. I will transfer the payment myself while you watch helplessly.

About me: I am a findom and I have a sub kink in techdom. I thrive on power dynamics and the suffering of my victims. Play fair, stay safe. Play risky, fuck around and find out.

Financials are non-negotiable. You may approach via DM or telegram: plushpillowpearl

Your contract fee is $50.

I'm very sorry if this is the wrong place, but I hope not. I'm posting out of frustration and maybe even desperation for reassurances that I'm not a bad person and for advice on how to navigate these thoughts.

My brain will not stop interpreting everything as a sexual opportunity (I never act on this, it's just a cloud that sits in my head 24/7)

But what is even worse: I can't stop applying this mindset as if other people are thinking it too, and it's ruining my life.

I can't help but think that others look at people they just met and wonder about sexual compatibility or if they would be interested in sexual things with them.

For example, my partner goes to the Doctor. Doctors are professionals, see hundreds of people each week, they are tired and overworked and probably the last thing on their mind is sex, particularly and especially with a patient they are treating... but I cannot help but apply the thought that they are wondering if my partner would be interested in sex with them.

And please don't misread, this isn't a jealously issue and it isn't solely about my partner.

It's about not being able to conceptualize that other people do not have these thoughts and assessments about literal strangers.

I'm struggling and I really want advice on how I can soothe these thoughts or get rid of them. I'm tired of wondering if the cashier checking out my groceries is wondering about sex with me and vice versa.

I can't stand listening to the women, I want to hear the men 🙄 I want to see the men.

Does your sub enjoy the use of physical checks as much as mine?

The waiting game for me to deposit them so he can get his release. Him writing several checks and not knowing which amount I'll choose to deposit.

I've been seeing a concerning uptick in dommes who use AI to write their abouts.. it makes me question the authenticity of their offerings or if you're just being drained by ChatGPT 😔