Venting/Advice
Can I please have some wiser submissive people help me feel better about this situation?
Not sure where to begin here so forgive me in advance if this post is all over the place.
I make the cardinal mistake of playing with a dom within 12 hours of meeting him, and it was pretty intense play. All the green flags were present, but of course they were because it was 12 hours… I learned a massive lesson from that alone, I’m not really sure what I was thinking but at the time it felt more like seizing the day than being reckless. Perhaps somewhere in the middle of those two extremes is the more likely scenario.
Anywho, I enjoyed the play in the moment. Aftercare kind of sucked, but I didn’t feel horrible. I expressed that I would like more next time. I actually felt empowered for about 3 weeks afterward. He worked in a different country for 6 weeks after this play session, and I assumed we would pick it back up when he returned.
This did not happen. What did happen, though is he got into a dynamic with a different submissive. No problem, I certainly would’ve appreciated finding out from him directly than through the grape vine. This made me feel gross.
Here is where I am struggling - this dude is active in my local kink community and he actually encouraged me to get involved. I attended a munch, had a decent time but now that he is back in town, I am struggling with the thought of crossing paths with him in community contexts.
Does anyone have any insight on how to accept what happened between us, and not feel ashamed? In retrospect, I shouldn’t have negotiated with “potential” in mind and negotiated for the here and now.
I learned a lot from this experience, and actually stopped dating after this… now all I want is to just be somewhat involved with the community and make subby friends to discuss the horrors with.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has been this stupid… ugh.