Warning: please forgive me for any misspells etc as I’m currently in withdrawal as I type. Bear with me here.
Hi, I’m a 36yo f and been on fentanyl for 6 years as a functioning addict meaning, no one knew I was on anything and I was able to hold a job and take care of my family. I only used to not get sick. I did get clean for a few months about 3 years ago and when I did I got buprenorphine 8mg tab. I waited 72 hours before starting it like my doctor told me to and I only took 1/2 a pill so 4mg and it sent me into very bad PWD. I mean I almost died. After getting past the PWD I took tiny doses of bupe and was able to fully commit to it and get off the Fent. Then relapsed a few months later and fast forward to now and I’m trying so hard to get clean. I have to or I’ll loose my daughter. So currently I stopped using a week ago and I made it to day 4 just taking clonidine but day 4 the withdrawals got so bad so I used a tiny bit of fent. I get capsules of fent so I only used one cap. I have leftover bupe but I was so scared to take it that I chose the fent instead. I probably would have been fine since it was 4 days but almost dying from PWD 3 years ago has me so scared. I’ve been trying to read up on the Bernese method but there’s a chance I can still go into PWD so that scares me too. I’m really trying to do this from home as I have two dogs and no insurance so I can’t go into rehab.
My questions are:
How do I cut up my 8mg bupe tablets and know I’m getting 1mg? Do I just stay taking the tiniest bit?
Should I stay taking the tiniest bit of fent or go back to my regular dose which was 8-10 caps per day and then start taking the tiniest bit of bupe?
If I do go into PWD how do I get out of it? Do I take more bupe or more fentanyl?
Also, any advice you have I’ll take and also if someone has experience and can tell me what you did that worked please tell me. I’m desperate.
Thanks everyone 🙏