did i green out after alcoholics anonymous or
yesterday i went to my local aa meeting and on the drive there i concocted this idea to slip out and re up at the smoke shop down the street. i hadn't smoked in like 2-3 weeks and i was so excited. like sooo excited.
it's 90 plus degrees outside, beautiful, i got my sunglasses on, i get to the end of the plaza and see the unmistakable shape of a shooter up against the side of one of the abandoned shops. sure enough it's a completely full wheatley's vodka shooter right there not more than 500 feet from aa. now usually i wouldn't pick it up because i have a long standing theory that mystery liquid on the side of the road is never not most likely piss. however i decide to test if it's opened or sealed, and sure enough i pop the lid. sealed. i put it in my pocket.
with pep in my step i cross the road and start heading over to the smoke shop towards the sun. get to the shop and it isn't the usual person at the register, it's these 2 chill looking dudes. one looks like he might be my nationality and the other looks like he's the boss of the place. i strike up a conversation with them, as i do, and eventually decide on 3g hybrid oil for my cart and these 2 insane looking prerolls w diamonds or whatever tf that are like twice the size of the shit i roll. they give me a free lighter and a $2 discount because they don't want me spending my $2 bill in case it gets all vintage and expensive down the line. i try to leave it in the tip jar but the boss guy won't let me.
i stroll out and start heading back to aa. the birds are chirping, the grass is waving, the sun is smiling down on me. on the way back i think about how nice it would be to smoke one of the prerolls before heading in. slightly impulsively i head behind the row of shops to that stretch of concrete where the loading docks and employee parking are, pop a squat on the curb, and light up. i put some music on (big empty by stone temple pilots, then sugar by system of a down) and kind of space out. before i know it i've smoked the entire thing.
i drift back into aa. the layout of the parking lot suddenly becomes foreign to me but i make it back, sit down, pick up the big book next to me, and start following along. people's shares seem to stretch for 10 minutes each or longer. some things are really funny, some things are really sad, you know, how it usually is.
i had some friends coming over for dinner and they were at my place before i got there, so we all went in and i got out dinner and we chatted about everything and nothing all at once. i kind of start confusing real conversations for imagined ones, as in in the middle of a convo i would stop to eat a bite of dinner and immediately start questioning whether i had really even spoken just then or whether i had made up the entire conversation in my head altogether. i kind of get paranoid and start questioning whether or not my friends are even there. but i keep my shit together, i stay cool, they're not really the smoking type so i maintain my cover. their 4 year old kid was there too and he was mostly playing with my dog but he was telling me all sorts of theories he had about the world and they actually like struck me deeply. got me thinking really hard.
the next hour or two were a blur, i know my friends went home and i know i cleaned the kitchen but that's about it. i can honest to god say in my 8 years of smoking i have never, ever gotten this high. i felt like a hologram of a person. it felt like i was on maybe 80 ug of acid. my next concrete memory is waking up this morning, still decently high, and going to work and having a great day. moral of the story is never smoke an entire fat ass diamondized preroll in the middle of your aa meeting before dinner with friends after a t break. or do, if your heart so desires. it truly is the big ice cream cone in the sky.