u/sad-b-

I have a sub who is married and feels a TON of shame and guilt about doing this behind his wife’s back. I’ve pushed him to go to therapy and take baby steps to try to have this type of dynamic with his wife and tell her about his kinks but he keeps coming back to our dynamic and gets something out of it that he can’t with his wife.

I’ve seen posts on here of married subs who seem like they’ve been doing this for so long without much shame or guilt. What helped you come to terms with doing this kink behind your partners back? Do you have boundaries with your Domme that help? I would love any advice for my fav sub.

I love female rage. Fuck everyone and everything. Subs are the fucking worst sometimes. When I’m on my period which I was last week….I HATE all my subs. They can’t do anything right and I cry ALL the time. Also a lot of subs are careless with Dommes feelings, even ones wanting a drain and then to ghost, that can be hurtful to some Dommes and they don’t give a fuck or don’t know they’re doing it. Also subs on Reddit being rude to Dommes wtf.

I love women but I also hate when Dommes say they love supporting other Dommes but then also make posts about “Having a $50 Tribute isn’t good” or making comments about “Dommes who are mean to subs in comments are uneducated on how to be a Domme” or they reply to subs a lot in this space and rarely Dommes. When you do this it seems like your standards for women are SO high but for subs, they are nonexistent. I get that education is valuable and I enjoy other points of view but I don’t think one persons method is better than the other if you’re happy and not hurting anyone.

Please rage about anything bothering you in the fucking comments! Even and probably my opinion.

Is it just me or are European subs the WORST. They’re always so entitled, won’t do anything they don’t want to do UNLESS they’re gooned out (AKA getting something out of it), and bratty as hell….

I’ve had some OK ones but they were still way more bratty than any of my US subs.

My theory is that toxic masculinity is still very strong there and they have a lot more shame about being submissive.

I had 3 really amazing dynamics. One was long-term and the other two were shorter but meaningful. One was a whale sub, one was poor as hell, and one was such a beautiful surprise. The connections were amazing. These subs loved pleasing me in any way possible. Sending tons of photos and videos. They were hard for me all the time and were so good at expressing how much they needed me and were obsessed with me. They wanted to send to me all the time and would beg for it. I would even have to tell them not to if they were going way over budget. The best thing was their emotional intelligence and ability to communicate.

Aside from all that we spoke on the phone for hours a day. I loved talking to them about kink and not kink. The teasing and the banter. We became really good friends. I was excited to talk to them every day.

In the span of a week I lost all 3 of them as subs. I cried so much. I am still crying writing this even though it happened weeks ago. One had a personal issue so I had to separate myself from him, another I encouraged to move on due to other personal reasons, and one ghosted.

I keep getting new subs or new senders who are just so disappointing and make me miss those three subs so much. I’m just a sensitive and very invested Domme with no one to talk to about this stuff. Made this account to vent.