I'm in a pretty dark place rn. I feel lonely and depressed. I got laid off last year. The first few months after that were good - I got 3 months of paid leave for my notice period and I was excited to upskill. I was also socializing with my existing friends and meeting new people at events. I started applying to jobs after a few months only to get zero responses.
As months started passing by, I started feeling ashamed of answering the questions about how my job hunt is going on and I started isolating myself and stopped stepping outta my house. This has really taken a toll on me.
I also graduated 2 years later than usual and I feel like a fucking loser for not having a good job even at this age. I have been a NEET for various periods of my life.
I want an empath by my side to help me get through this. I'm really struggling and honestly, this is a cry for help. I know that this is an unusual r/r4r post but I know that having someone by my side tremendously helps my mental health.
Honestly speaking, my ego is taking a hit when I'm writing this to put so many of the undesirable sides of me lol. But man, it's gonna be worth it if it helps me find that gem of a soul who's willing to reach out to me.
I know that it's a long shot because what both sides bring to the table is ridiculously skewed. But based on my experience here in r4r, when I have posted looking for mommy dommes (hey, everyone has their kinks), I've found some of the most impossibly nurturing and caring women who just give, give and give. I'm on the hunt for them.
If you are this type then I should let you know that I can fall for you hard, pretty quickly too.
I need someone who isn't afraid to hangout irl after you establish that I'm not Hannibal or an organ trafficker. Your only organ I hope to steal is the heart.
I'm nervous about posting this because I know I might get hate (understandably so) for being selfish, asking for an unpaid therapist to take on emotional labor.
I'm super afraid that this is cringey, weird and unhinged. Omg I'm such a fucking leech for wanting all this aren't I? I'm always nervous about upsetting people before posting anything but I think this post might get some well deserved hate.
I'm choosing to post this despite all that because I'm down in the trenches rn and love is my antidote.
Since the past 8 years, I've lost the will to live. But whenever I have found my kinda hooman, I have forgotten about the existential question that always pesters me - "Kyu hi jeena hai yaar? What's the point of living?"
^(!lock)