u/sdh_pj

I assume a lot of you have been at this exact point—questioning whether to continue or stop.

I’ve been orgasm-free for about four months now, and my wife would like to extend it another 3–4 months. What I can’t quite wrap my head around is the inner conflict: part of me wonders why I’m even doing this, while another part is genuinely curious to explore how far this can go.

At the end of the day, an orgasm is a genuinely great feeling—so choosing to go without it for months is, on the surface, kind of irrational. And yet, here I am, not struggling as much as I expected.

So I’m really interested in the psychological side: For those who’ve been in a similar situation, what made you continue despite those doubts? What was the internal reasoning or feeling that kept you going?

And on the flip side, for those who stopped—what tipped the balance for you?

I have a question for those of you who are fully orgasm-free.

I’ve been without orgasm for about four months now, and I’m honestly a bit surprised by how manageable it feels. Of course, I do miss it on some level—but at the same time, I don’t feel this overwhelming urge that I expected.

I’m trying to understand why that is. My current theory is that exploring things within our dynamic still feels satisfying in a different way—almost like a mix of curiosity, new experiences, and a kind of self-experiment or mental challenge.

What confuses me even more: I recently told my wife that I’d like to have an orgasm again, and she suggested maybe waiting until our anniversary at the end of July. I feel like that should drive me crazy—but it doesn’t. And I don’t fully understand why.

Before we started this, I was used to orgasming pretty frequently—sometimes daily, at least several times a week.

So I’m curious: for those of you who are fully orgasm-free, how does it actually feel for you? And why do you think it works (or doesn’t) the way it does?