idk but maybe?
[sorry for the long post but I guess I'm looking for advice from anyone who's been through a similar dynamic? also I am a newbie to this sub and to reddit so I'm sorry if I'm doing something wrong lol]
My husband [36M] and I [31F] have been together 10 years and our sex life has pretty much always sucked lol. I have a much higher sex drive than him and he prefers to work it out himself when he is in the mood. At this point in our marriage I've gotten used to it and I've made my peace with that, I even like watching him [though I do die a little inside cuz damn I'd love to eff my husband lol]. We're as good with that dynamic as we've ever been. And I love him to death.
Recently he started asking me about a couple of guys I hooked up with before we got married. He's done this a few times and I get excited every time because he's clearly showing me that this is something he's interested in. I give him the juicy details and it's fun seeing him enjoy my stories. Especially because I've been begging him to tell me what his fantasies are for years and he has been a locked vault.
But a week ago he was you know, handling his business, I was making up new stories lol just having fun. And he proposed I hook up with another dude irl. Obviously I was turned on and started talking to him about it. Then after the um explosion? [idk how graphic I can be here lol] I brought up going on a date just to play around and he kinda freaked and was like "that was just a fantasy, that's not actually happening" which was fine with me, no big deal.
Then he went on a business trip this past week, and after a couple days of not texting me at all, he suddenly said he couldn't stop thinking about it. Turns out he was "handling his business" so I went along with it. But then right after, he said he was very serious about it and he really thinks we should try it. He texted me about it again the past two days and then today asked if I made a tinder yet. I'm just kinda taken aback. Based on how he's reacted to things strongly while turned on, and then does a 180 when he's not in the mood... I am hesitant to take this too seriously. I have a little bit of whiplash. And now he's calling me a chicken ! he's joking but also like dude, let me wrap my head around this for a minute.
Faced with it outside of just talking about it when we're turned on, I worry about logistics. How nervous I'd be meeting up with someone new, worried about my safety, etc. I also can't tell if I love the idea [because holy effing shit it'd be amazing to have sex with someone who wants it as much as I do] or if it's going to fuck with my head and emotions... I feel like I would get attached to someone if I was physical with them. Especially if they ended up being really kind and cool. Which tbh is the only kinda person I would WANT to have sex with.
I'm not sure if this is a good decision for our marriage but I also don't want to shoot my husband down because this is the most open he's been with me about his desires and I don't want to discourage him.
So has anyone been through something like this? How did it work out if you proceeded? And to any girlies out there.... how did you jump into this thing and how has it affected your emotions? ok thank you lol