Unpopular opinion BDSM is not a substitute for therapy/education
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I’ve been reflecting on the "Sane" part of SSC, and I feel like it needs to be said. If you aren’t mentally stable, you don’t belong in the BDSM community. Regardless of whether you’re a Domme or a sub.
This isn’t about gatekeeping it’s about safety and consent. If you lack the basic knowledge and experience of BDSM please stop acting like you do and spreading misinformation. You shouldn't feel threatened if a domme or a sub has more knowledge and experience that's your ego talking.
For subs if you’re in a headspace where you can’t accurately read your own limits or provide clear, informed consent then you are putting yourself and your partner in a dangerous position. You can’t advocate for yourself if you’re spiraling.
For Dommes, having power over someone else requires an immense amount of emotional regulation and clarity. If you’re using the scene to project your own instability or if you lack the control to prioritize your sub’s well-being over your own headspace I'm sorry to say you are no longer a safe leader.
BDSM requires radical self-responsibility. We have to be honest with ourselves here. We are here for safe, regulated and consensual kinky fun. If you can’t guarantee a stable, grounded environment for play, the most "sane" thing you can do is step back. The community thrives on trust, and you can’t build trust on a shaky foundation. As a long time sub these are major red flags in the bdsm community. I have talked to quite a few dommes I have a group of regulars some that we just have pleasant conversations and others I specifically tribute too. To those I applaud you also to my fellow subs that I have in my sub chats you are not forgotten either. Those people are who keep me coming back to the BDSM communities. You are the ones who keep these communities safe and fun so thank you 🤠🙌